Am Not Coping

[Faith-and-Hope]

I guess in the same bracket as wh’s mum refusing to believe he is unwell ..... despite the e.d. behaviours including the c/s being conducted right in front of her.  He has been so successful in a dramatic weight loss and extensive, successful working life that he is beyond all criticism ..... and any fault with what is happening for us must lie with me ..... my ideas, me not supporting his ideas ..... whatever ....

[Zoe7]

Yet you have not changed but it is still all your fault @Faith-and-Hope  It is so hard to see what is right in front of us when we don't want to see it Hon  WH is now substituting one co-dependent relationship (with his mother) with another (S2). Whilst others keep validating his behaviour, he will continue to not be able to see what has been happening - and you are kept at 'arms length' - maybe a little so he doesn't have to 'see' what he has done to the family.

Whilst the move next year is very disruptive for you, it may 'blur' the lines of WH's relationship with his mother a little, and give you a little 'breathing' space - I hope so anyway 

[Faith-and-Hope]

There will be reasons why the therapists are dealing with things the way they are.  I would feel more secure about their advice if I thought they had the whole picture @Zoe7 ..... but unfortunately it is still like a giant iceberg with a large percentage under the water, hidden from view.

[Zoe7]

I know you cannot risk telling them what is really happening either @Faith-and-Hope - so they are not likely to even know how BIG the iceberg is  So, so very difficult for you Hon 

I better start cleaning out the spare room hey 

[Faith-and-Hope]

It’s a mess ..... 

And there are aspects I can’t mention here too ....

And no instruction manual for any of it .....

@Zoe7

[Zoe7]

I know there are aspects you can't mention @Faith-and-Hope and you don't need to Hon to have some understanding of how incredibly hard it is for you 

I know you look out for everyone else on here (and there) but underneath all that is a wounded little bird, knowing that her wings are incredibly damaged and never knowing if they will have the time to repair - yet you still hold out hope for yourself, your family irl and your family on here 

You said I reminded you of your mother the other day Hon - but your mother would be incredibly proud of the amazing women that you are despite all obstacles thrown your way - you inspire me every day to find that little bit of light - even if that light is just seeing your example 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Happy tears ......

Thank you ❤️

@Zoe7

[Zoe7]

My job here is done then @Faith-and-Hope 

...and you know I mean every word of it Hon  I wish I could have met your mother, just as I wish you could have met my nan 

[outlander]

Mind if i sit here for abit?
No need to talk.... and will stay quiet...

[Faith-and-Hope]

Me too @Zoe7 .....

@outlander .... I need to go to bed now.  It’s after pumpkin hour and I am being woken early in the mornings here.  I was about to say goodnight ..... i hope you understand 💕

Thanks @Zoe7.  Sorry I have to go.  Starting to fall asleep.  Catch up with you tomorrow.