@Faith-and-Hope I am home but may need a little time to sort some stuff out in my head. I won't be far away but may be reading more than responding for a while Hon 
No red cordial here either @Faith-and-Hope 
I talked to my GP a bit today. Told her how I've been and that what we are doing isn't working and I am so tired. Also talked about how hard (an understatement I know) the nights are and I am so exhausted and anxious about the nights that the days haven't been much better. I am frustrated that this does not seem to be improving and infact I feel I am going backwards again. We also talked briefly about how I am doing physically and that the physical and mental pain/tiredness/trauma feed off each other.
I see my pdoc on Thursday so it is highly likely that there will be some changes made with meds. I know there are very real concerns that if we do that then it is highly likely that I will feel even worse for a time (if that is possible!). There is also a very high risk (if too many taken together) of a permanent outcome! My GP is going to talk to my pdoc about how they can manage that to both ensure my safety and with as little extra pressure as possible. Whatever the outcome it won't change until after hospital next Tuesday - with my last reaction to aneasthetic, my fears around going in there for the day and not knowing how I will react to new meds - it is not a good idea to change anything else for me just now (frankly, I can't cope with any more changes in my life right now).