Living with Loneliness

[Rollon]

I am trying to learn my way around how to post etc 

Loneliness for me has been quite a sad, miserable life, you wonder how or why you are like this.  I know with me I have felt this anguish since a young teenager and it is still with me this day and I am now 65.  The pain and hurt of having no friends is heart breaking to me.  When my parents moved and I went into a new school half way through third year was the worst experience ever.  Not knowing anyone and not getting into a group of friends.  Not having one friend where you can go out with or have fun with.  My life is just filled with depression, anxiety, sadness and not having human contacts as what you would call friends.  Had my first child at 17 and even my own second cousin abandoned me.  I had to get married and I was abused.  I left the marriage at my parents disgust.  The ex was having affairs etc and I found out by a telegram being sent saying his work being terminated due to he was not there, he was off down the beach having fun.  I packed up that day and moved into a relatives house, my parents came around quite angry as to the reasoning of it all.  OK !  so remarried and have four children in their 40's and nine grand kids and yes I am so lonely in life I stay in bed all day and have not been out of the house since Xmas.  My son the addict and estranged from us,  we did everything for him over his troubled years.  My daughter who just lost her way in her mid 40's living with us.  Another daughter and family lived with us on two occasions while they built houses.  Youngest has some empathy.  I have some grand kids in their 20's and have not seen one since they were in a pusher.  So why don't I have friends so I can have some fun times with.  The pain of loneliness comes in so many ways inside of you.  And funnily enough my hubby is a loner and says he does not need other people in his life.  He said he is quite happy to sit on a rock on a beach and stare at the waves.  Are there any groups for lonely people.   Sometimes I think it is too late, have been through breast cancer, half my thyroid removed due to suspicious nodes, suffer chronic fatigue.  My parents are gone, all my older Aunts and Uncles there is no family left.  What I have written are just the basics of what could have been a book in the making.  I think loneliness causes depression and sadness and a wasted life.

[Lila3]

@PeppyPatti ahh thank you for explaining. My male cousin has disorganised schizophrenia. I think it's a hard diagnosis to manage. There are groups for mental health issues but my cousin doesn't go to them.

[amber22]

Hi there @Rollon 

Thank you for sharing what you've gone through and how you are feeling here with us on the forums ❤️

I really hope that you're able to get the support and advice that you need right now. 

That sounds very challenging, especially if your main support of your husband also likes to spend time alone and feels as if he doesn't need anyone else. Do you currently seek any supports in terms of mental health professionals? 

Do you have any hobbies or anything that you could try to integrate that you like, into a group environment? Such as activities or walks that might be in your local area? 

Sitting with you,

Amber22

[Doldip15]

Thanks Josie72

your post raised an awareness of just how great that painful recurrence is and can be! It’s like walking through thick fog knowing you can see something different but unsure it’s there through the curtain of invisibility! 
After the orphanage, I had this permanent litany in my head! I am nothing and no one! Each time something happens to reawaken the trauma - “I am nothing, and no one”. Days, weeks, of reflection, pain, doodling, fear of communication, wrong communication, all sorts of errors- before I can sit comfortably with myself again! I am a person! I do have a right to be heard! I belong! 
but the fear is always inside! And I dread it breaking out again! Am I really nothing? 
for today maybe someone?

thanks again for sharing 

[PeppyPatti]

Dearest @Lila3 

Sounds like my ex-husband. He has NDIS which has been wonderful for him. 

I don't know if he can do anymore groups wise but I may look at groups for him and go with him to see if he can socially meet someone. 

Thankyou very much for the suggestion. 

I really needed that. 

 

[Glisten]

@PeppyPatti  Questions only your sons can answer.

Only recently I learned from my daughter, never have expectations of people. Because you will always be disappointed.

We are all flawed, we all make mistakes.  Some of us make the same mistake repeatedly, and that’s what makes us human.

I said to my grandchildren “I am human. I will make mistakes and that’s ok”.

G

[Glisten]

Nwww back at ya @Shaz51 

Hugs

G

[Rollon]

Hi Amber 22 I suffer chronic fatigue so walking is not for me. So no hobbies as I am always so tired. My last Psychiatrist retired and am yet to yet find another one and there is quite a wait. My Doc sent me to a Psychoanalyst which was a huge waste of money. I have a long awaited GP appointment coming up so heavily rely on what his intentions will be with me.

[Glisten]

@Rollon  Chronic fatigue I feel for you. Horrible condition. Is it regarded as a condition? I have no idea.

I hope something wonderful happens for you.

G