Not too bad thanks
@Shaz51 i just spoke my mind to my friend. And it was hard! He took a piss in my toilet. And then wipes his hands on the towel i use to dry myself with after ive showered. And I'm thinking. What the hell? And he makes a coffee. And he likes his coffee warm. So he puts extra milk in it. And I'm thinking. That milk needs to last me all fortnight. So i "spoke my mind " and feel likea big bad grumble bum for doing so... and then topped it off with the comment. "If i dont speak my mind and put myself first, no one else gonna do it for me! "
What do you think about this?
Lots more to the story...
And also, my neighbour comes over to bludge cigarettes off of me. And subtlety says. I just come over to have a coffee with you. And see how youre going. And he's talking about his excess money he got from electricity account. And celebrating his. Cure from cancer. And drinking. Using pokies. And how people are humbugging him and he's not giving it. And then he's asking me for tobacco.
It's stuff like this that really grinds on me! And i really get fed up with it!
Littlethings like this. (There's a big list! ) they happen once. They happen twice. They happen three times. And continue happening....) and it does my head in. Time and time again. But i suppose I'm the other side of the story for someone else! Do you think?
It's apart of why i go through so much social anxiety and hesitation / procrastination.
But on the bright side. I took myself and my dog walking. I had a lovely. Ham and salad sandwich for breakfast. I made the bed. Swept up. And am looking forward to some down time this afternoon.
Pretty much suffering from anxiety at any given chance i get. And then trying to counteract it with positive actions. But quite often the cycle goes bad. Meaning, i turn to alcohol or drugs. Or coffee, cigarettes or food. And it hurts. Or find myself in questionable company. And having missed two or three important ques tp act of stuff that was best for me and will help me more then anything else.
Me "friend" is with me at the moment. And he likes to drink alcohol. So he needs somewhere and someone to do this with. And it's a toxic, bitter and sour experience to be honest with you. So I've pushed it away as best i can to protect myself.
We don't wanna do the things that are good for us? We turn away from the things we need to do at the last moment? Because of fear?
Open rebuke is better then love that is hidden
