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23 Nov 2017 06:55 PM
23 Nov 2017 06:55 PM
I think I'm vile worthless scum and I will always be so.
What's the point in being alive if this is true?
How can I ever feel like I am worthwile, good, whole, valued if I am what I am?
Why am I so scared of the option I have in front of me?
What's the point in doing anything?
23 Nov 2017 09:38 PM
23 Nov 2017 09:38 PM
Hi @Former-Member. I relate so much to this post. I don’t know how to feel like I have any value or worth. My internal critic and my self-hate are so very loud and so very constant.
But for what it’s worth, I don’t think you are vile, worthless scum. I don’t know you very well, but the other day you posted in the nest, concerned that you had offended other members. You care about others. I think that makes you inherently good, even though I know how hard it can be to see that in yourself.
Please try to be kind to yourself. And please keep posting here in Forum Land so we can remind that you do indeed have value and worth. 🌷
23 Nov 2017 09:50 PM
23 Nov 2017 09:50 PM
@Former-Memberyou arent worthless scum at all.
we love and care for you here, what has you upset? talk to use here, we are listening
23 Nov 2017 10:46 PM
23 Nov 2017 10:46 PM
@Former-Member, I can relate so much to your post. I believe I don't have much worth either, despite what others say.
I've read through your posts however and you don't seem like a vile worthless person at all. I see someone who is living with some pretty heavy stuff (your MI), but is highly valued as a person (I say that judging by the responses to your threads and posts). I know mental illness can cloud that however (I know that from experience).
I haven't got much advice to offer I'm afraid, as I am walking a similar road. Just know you're in my thoughts.
23 Nov 2017 10:56 PM
23 Nov 2017 10:56 PM
24 Nov 2017 12:03 PM
24 Nov 2017 12:03 PM
@Former-Member
Look back upon what you do for others, and use their feelings for you to judge your worth. There are times where I feel like I am worthless, pathetic, useless and broken. Whether that is true or not is now irrelevant to me: What is important is that I make other people smile, and make their days just a little bit happier. I might not be able to trust my own word when I say to myself "I'm a good person", but I can definitely trust the word of the people that I love and who love me in return.
27 Nov 2017 07:29 PM
27 Nov 2017 07:29 PM
I'm a worthless pile of shit.
And my therapist won't let me quit therapy and there is no point me going or trying anymore.
I wish I could change into someone that mattered. Someone that was worth something.
27 Nov 2017 07:34 PM
27 Nov 2017 07:34 PM
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way @Former-Member. You are not a bad person. You matter a lot and you are worth something.
I had this little one saved for you earlier and now feels like the right time to give it to you.
27 Nov 2017 08:23 PM
27 Nov 2017 08:23 PM
27 Nov 2017 09:16 PM
27 Nov 2017 09:16 PM
@Former-Member You're a very valued person who matters. It may just be hard to see the forest right now for the trees so to speak. I found a cute stegosaur and thought I'd leave it here to remind you that you ARE worth it.
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