~ The Toolshed ~

[AuntGlow]

Hello lovely @Meowmy, I struggle with this too. 💛

I find that perfectionist or self-esteem challenges often come from rather young parts of ourselves - the parts that may have felt left out, not enough, or unworthy of love whilst growing up. These parts can manifest for so many reasons, but I think understanding them, giving them space to be expressed, and finding ways to soothe them can be so, so helpful. 

Have you explored this much at all? 

[Meowmy]

@AuntGlow hey Auntglow, thank you for message and understanding. I think my perfectionist personality is really harmful for my life. It makes me non functional. I expect so much of myself that I cannot achieve. I expect so much of others and the world that I blame them and attack them. I end up always short of my satisfaction. Without relationship or friends. Burn all the bridges. And even end in psych ward.

[Jynx]

Hey @Meowmy thought I'd just jump in to offer some reflection thoughts - perfectionism is such a tricky one because it also plays into our motivation and desire to succeed. But when it gets to distressing levels, I've found it helps to figure out how this 'perfectionist' part of myself is trying to protect me.

Always comes back to safety! And when we've been socialised to believe that our social worth depends on what we can do rather than who we are, it's easy to end up with this unconscious process of 'If I don't do x, I will fail, then I'll be worthless and alone' - which triggers our survival instinct to preserve our social standing. 

[Meowmy]

@Jynx hey Jynx, thanks for the meaningful reply.i find that if I develop my self worth that is deserving being loved, I sm less interested to succeed.  May be the motive to succeed is to be accepted and loved. If our real self who is imperfect can be accepted and loved, then there might be less incentive to succeed. Then again, to want to succeed is an evolutionary and positive attitude because it drives us to improve ourselves, to gain better skills to be better persons, to contribute more,to give more. I guess if we do it loving ourselves and others, it will be healthy

[Sparky79]

@Jynx @Meowmy @Glisten @Dreamy  @Cuddlebear @avant-garde @Bunniekins @MJG017 @MissinTooth @Appleblossom @rav3n @Ru-bee @AuntGlow @RiverSeal @Oaktree @Shaz51 @Till23 @Bow @Dimity @lonemushroom @PeppyPatti @creative_writer @Blackcloud @ENKELI @tyme 

[PeppyPatti]

I'm very dizzy today.  Got my hair braided. 

Life is tough. I like reading @Dreamy s posters. Makes me feel good. 

[AuntGlow]

Here if you need to talk @PeppyPatti 💛💛

[Meowmy]

@AuntGlow hey Auntglow,  nice to see you. Hope you had nice few days. Enjoy a good evening. 

[AuntGlow]

You too @Meowmy. 

How are things today? ☺️

[Meowmy]

@AuntGlow hey Auntglow,  I am very good today. The insight into personality is very helpful.. what's new ?