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Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Herbal tea a good idea @Krishna 

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Anastasia @Daisydreamer 

Wet and cool here.  Small walk.  Dishes and tidy.  Some computer jobs.

Mood highly changeable.

Looking at real estate.

 

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

About to call it quits on the work front.

About time to go help with dinner.

500  words down on my report 1500 to go and it was due Monday 😩

Final report to complete my degree.

At least I have some more idea on what I am going to do now. Enough to pass anyway lol. 

Have an extension till Monday next week thankfully to manage family challenges. 

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

You've done well @Determined. You have a full plate. Sending wishes to the Universe for you to get it done without too much stress and juggling 🙏🤞

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Hello

@Daisydreamer , @Emelia8 , @Anastasia , @Faith-and-Hope , @Appleblossom , @Mumi , @Clawde , @Meowmy , @Meggle , @greenpea , @ArtistZ , @Judi9877 , @Determined , @Smiling_Gecko , @Adge , @Smc , @Shaz51 , @Futurefears , @1stepup61 , @Alicat , @Krishnan, @Paperdaisy , @SJT63 , @The-Hams , ,@TAB , @frog , @BPDSurvivor , @Ant7 , @Snowie , @Rubyrose1 , @KEJ , @cloudcore ,

and other visitors to this thread,

 

I have endeavoured to recognise members in the tag list with whom I have had more recent and regular contact, also those with whom I have had occasional contact and members with whom there has been contact in other mutually supported threads. Thank you, to each person for those contacts that make the forum a pleasant, informative and supportive environment, in which to offer and receive mutual and reciprocal support, nurturing and comforting correspondence.

Thank you all for your contacts, tags and company in this and other threads.

"

@Daisydreamer , Thank you for your tag and inclusion in greetings today. We have had occasional contact on the forum, both in your management role and in general activity on various threads. I enjoy the interaction that we have. Thank you.

"

@Appleblossom , "The photo zi took (yesterday) .... Eucalyptus "Silver Princess" is pleasantly embraced in my mind. I took the quote from your post but when I did a search, could not find the photo again.

"

@Emelia8 , @Anastasia , @Appleblossom , @Mumi , @greenpea , @ArtistZ , @Clawde , @Meowmy , and more recently @1stepup61 , we have had some fun with virtual flying that has stimulated our recollections, associated memories and events, both more recent and others from earlier in our lives. I have really enjoyed that project and research, that has connected for me, information and refreshed memories of some pleasant events very early in my life. I really hope that those excursions into the sources of information and the good memories have been as stimulating and rewarding for you as it has been for me. It is a question that @1stepup61 asked, that started us on that more recent journey. Thank you @1stepup61 for the question and every one else for your participation and support.

"

@Faith-and-Hope often tags me to come and share thoughts, participate in a conversation, or enjoy something in which she thinks that I may be interested. Other members also engage with me in similar ways. I appreciate the invitations and inclusion in various conversations on the forum. Thank you to @Faith-and-Hope and other members also.

"

@Judi9877 and I have shared thoughts about some difficult issues in our lives, where we are able to express thoughts, concerns and suggestions about our respective situations, that appear to be similar in some respects. It is interesting that in discussing those issues, I develop a greater awareness and understanding of various aspects, situations, past and more recent events and my role(s) in my own life. It is certainly my hope that those conversations are also of interest and value to you @Judi9877

"

@Shaz51 is the 'mover and shaker' in keeping others and me informed and involved in a lot of the current activity in social and more specific threads. Thank you @Shaz51, for your regular contact, that keeps us connected with threads in which we may or may not engage in a lot of activity. @Shaz51 , to me, is like the friendly spider, maybe, as in “Charlotte's Web”, who is the connecting force between the different regions of the forum. I hope that you will be comfortable with the analogy @Shaz51 . Occasionally, when the going gets tough, we are in turn able to offer her some empathic and nurturing support.

"

@Mumi is a more recent member with whom others and I have had considerable interaction recently. Getting used to the methods and processes involved in activity on the forum has been challenging for @Mumi , as it was initially and sometimes still is for me. I am very pleased that @Mumi has continued to be an active member and who offers much in what she gives and shares with other members through her activity in the various threads. I am pleased that @Mumi continues to be a very active participant.

"

@Meowmy , to me seems to be a quiet member, possibly because I have not often had a lot of contact. I have been very pleased that @Meowmy has recently ventured into areas in which I am more active. I hope for and look forward to more interaction with @Meowmy in the future. I certainly have no wish to impose or give her the feeling that there is any pressure. As I have said to others, activity can involve passive viewing, without any other interaction, of posts in any areas of the forum, offering “Supports” as and where we feel comfortable, a position where I think @Meowmy is comfortable at the present time. Then, as we become more at ease with the members in the thread, we can engage, when we wish, in the conversation. Really lovely to see you among the threads where I am more active @Meowmy .

"

@Determined , @Smc and I have fairly irregular, but enjoyable contact when it occurs. Discussions have included building structural suggestions, motor bike riding and others. It's been a while, so I look forward to connecting again soon.

"

It's time for me to go and get a drink, after which I plan to go for a swim at the pool. Part of my plan to increase strength and improve mobility. While it is fairly cool today and the weather yesterday, her in Mid-West WA, was stormy with strong winds and rain, that may help because getting in to the water, I hope, won't be such a shock.

"

You are all very fresh in my mind.

Thank you to everyone for your engagement with me on the forum. I really appreciate the interactions that we have and the activity that we share. I can assure you that your interaction with me contributes significantly to helping me to maintain my mental and psychological stability, in addition to the resources with which I become familiar through the forum.

"

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX 

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Licorice root herbal tea sounds soo nice 

hello @HenryX@Faith-and-Hope@Anastasia@Determined@Appleblossom@Krishna@Daisydreamer@Emelia8@Adge@Scoo@Smc@frog  @greenpea@Alicat 

thank you @HenryX Heart

sorry everyone feeling a bit awwwww tonight @Former-Member , done soo much to keep pleasing my mum but is knocked down all the time 

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Hello @Shaz51 

 

From Your message a while ago, it sounds as though you are "feeling a bit awwwww tonight". It seems, from the comment, that you are doing what you think that your Mum might want, but it is neither acknowledged nor appreciated. Is that a fair summary?

 

Cheers, @HenryX 

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Yes My @HenryX 

Sooo many examples I could give you daily my friend 

We made a nice room downstairs for mum as she is finding it hard to go and and down the steps  She picked out the colours and everything is done , now she does not want to move in 

She love roast veges , made some for dinner tonight and she said she is having half a mango instead 

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Hello @Shaz51 

 

As you are possibly aware, my Mum and I lived together for nearly the 10 years prior to her passing a few months over two years ago. Our relationship was, as I have referred to elsewhere, a time of healing for me, as I believe it was for Mum. This was because of what we had both experienced, earlier in our lives, over a period of many years. For me, that 10 year period of time with Mum was a privilege and pleasure. I hope, and believe, it was also a special time for her.

"

Despite that, we still had our moments of difference. One time, I said to Mum that I would really like her to get out more, for exercise, fresh air and companionship, other than just with me. Mum put down the newspaper that she was reading, on her lap and said,

"Henry (pseudonym), I am quite content here."

While I knew that her decision would likely contribute to reducing her mobility more quickly, I knew that, if I was actually listening to her, not just hearing the words, I had to acknowledge her right to make that decision for herself. And sometimes, for older people ? (I am over 70), this is the only way that we and they can exercise some element of control in our/their lives, when all other avenues are rapidly diminishing. Paradoxically, that is often also the case for pre- and post-pubescent young people. The only way they can exercise and express their wish {and right?} to have some level of control in their lives, to develop their own identity and practice their independence, is to say, "No", whatever the merit or otherwise of that response at any given time.

Most often, this has, I believe, little to do with the merits of a decision in one way or another, but simply a wish, and possibly a right, to practice and exercise some control.

I took to serving a meal, before I had asked Mum to the table, to avoid her micro-managing the portions that I served. "Henry, that's too much!" Was I supposed to remove 5 kernels of corn, or half a portion of potato from the plate? Eventually, I just said,

"I will serve the meal and we will eat as much as we wish. Anything left over will be made use of in the compost."

Generally the meal was eaten and dessert followed.

Sometimes we just need to float an idea and let it become the idea of the other person. Sometimes it is appropriate to look for other ways to allow the other person ownership of the issue and the solution.

I offer observations based on my own experience, not to say that anyone else should do it my way. But, these are the only situations and experiences that I know. All I can hope is that these anecdotes and discussions may be helpful to you and others in the unique situations that you and they might be addressing. It is, I believe, important that  I do not offer or suggest solutions. Any one can do that, without the requirement to deal with any subsequent consequences. It is useful, I hope, to offer scenarios and anecdotes, from which may be distilled possible directions for future consideration.

With My Very Best Wishes

@HenryX 

 

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Thank you @HenryX for your thoughts.

I can definitely apply this to both my children and fil who lives with us. 

I likento fix things and for things to be ok and sometimes that is not my bag to carry.

 

Re: Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Hello @Determined 

 

Very pleased that you can see opportunities for application of the ideas, @Determined Thank you for letting me know.

 

With Best Wishes

@HenryX 

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