Morning Check-in

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde that's good that you can wear sterling silver and gold plated. If i wear rings for too long i start getting really itchy so very rarely wear them. 

That's smart thinking for anything you wear around your neck. I can't wear necklaces as I don't handle anything being around my neck. 

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy 

Content/trigger warning

I actually want to tell him
My psych thinks it will help
The current, recent trigger
That is making church worse

This is the longest church I've been in
Coming on six years
That shift, that milestone
Was something that I feared

You see, the one before this
The church that held the title
Ended in the worst way
They gave me to my abusers

I was scared, alone and hurt
Altered state of consciousness
Upwards of three hours
With people who wouldn't see

I tried to tell my friend
But she didn't believe me
It can't have been possible
So I tried again

Still they didn't listen
So I stopped trying them
I asked someone else
Who I thought was my friend

He crossed every boundary
Forced his way inside
Then I had a seizure
He raped [removed] that night

That I conceived a child
The doctor had me do a test
My dad though, he raped and beat [removed]
That soon the child was dead

I blame the church that failed me
Their actions got me raped
Their intentions got me pregnant
When I was twenty-eight

So now this church beats them
I've been here longer
It's brought up all this fear
That I'll lose this church too

... I just wrote and shared this with my elder...

@moderator 

This is getting frustrating. 

My posts keep ending up in "items for editing" and the last two times I haven't been told why

Please explain. 

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde oh sweetheart, I'm sorry you had those experiences at the last church, it's absolutely horrific what you've been through. I'm glad you felt comfortable to share this with your elder. I really hope you don't lose this church but I know those triggers are incredibly hard. 

Sitting with you sweet and sending you hugs ❤️

[wonderingalice1]

hi @avant-garde,

Thank you for following this up, I acknowledge how frustrating this must be, that posts are being marked as 'items for editing' and you are still awaiting a response from our forums team . I'm really sorry for this-we aim to be consistent and meet those expectations such as timely communication.

Just to update you-i'm getting support with the forums team to look into this issue and to find why this has happened, we will email you today to let you the outcome. I'm really sorry again-i really appreciate your patience with this.

Thank you

Wonderingalice1

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy 

So I met my replacement case manager today...

[Dreamy]

Hello @avant-garde my sweet.

How did it go meeting them? 

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy 

She called me out of the blue 

Told me that she would find me a cleaner

Told me that I would pay for it

Told me I was on an exit plan now

I repeated three times "I can't afford a cleaner"

She kept saying "I'll find you a cleaner"

Asked no questions about me

Made no effort to build rapport

Then finished the call in tears

I don't like her

She didn't listen

She didn't try

I was a checkbox

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde oh sweetheart, this sounds really tough, her approach sounds rather abrupt and blunt. I'm so sorry that you've had this experience with her. 

What are your options with getting another case manager?

[avant-garde]

@Dreamy 

It's only for another 6 months

I have no chance of getting someone different, it's not how they do things. 

I'll ignore her calls and just meet the required once a month. 

I don't technically need them anymore now that I'm through my first inspection

[Dreamy]

@avant-garde i hear you sweet.

I'm hoping the next 6 months go really fast for you. 

How are you feeling now?