Lived Experience Forum

[creative_writer]

@amber22, I am sorry you have them too. I think I’m going to head off, feeling extremely sleepy right now. Goodnight, I hope you have a restful night 💖🫂

[amber22]

Have a restful sleep tonight ❤️ @creative_writer 

[creative_writer]

I am beyond irritated

[creative_writer]

I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to break things, but all I am doing is lying on the bed trying to prevent the tears from falling

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

What is happening?

I hoped some chats may have been good because you are back at uni soon?

Did you have an emotional cry?

You are allowed to.

What are you having for dinner. Late yesterday l checked and Lebanese bread was on the menu. I am a filafel, kebab lover. Pita bread, lebanese bread, dips. So good

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member, I don’t know. I woke up on the wrong side of bed, things have been annoying me today. Maybe I’m so irritable from ptsd, it’s getting ridiculous, seemingly small things have been infuriating.

I don’t like crying in front of people😔.

I made halva with my mum today, so that will be for dinner, it’s a bit of a strange dinner, but we do it. It tastes nice with Leb bread. What are you having?

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

If your bed is not against a wall, go back in and get out the other side (ha ha)

My neighbours annoyed me today. A quick vent on Lifeline and l got going again. I feel silly calling because so many have big issues.

As an ex volunteer, what would you advise someone going through your issues. You are smart enough to have a wise solution. Some solutions take a lot of mindfulness.

Cry alone. No one has to know. Up to you. Bottling up emotions is not always good. Sometimes we get over it. Other times it gets us. I guess breaking things is just a comment. Do not break things. Breathe. Go for a walk. Watch a movie. Do not break anything and no holes jn doors. Those ideas create new problems and you need peace. Not new issues.

Yesterday l bought an impact driver on gumtree. Man was nice. He is on the spectrum. So l took him to a hard rubbish location. But all was gone. He works as Uber eats driver so i spent a few hours driving him around. That was fun. I cannot understand people using uber eats , but lucky we are all different.

Not sure what Halva is. What is it?

My friend loves cooking so i have a freezer full of yummy Thai food. Medium heat. Yummy

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member, I think I’ve been putting off reaching out, I know it’s not healthy. Maybe I should actually call up tom, SANE opens at 10am. I might be better off calling on the dot than later, sometimes the line gets busy, and then I don’t feel bothered to wait so hang up. I need to think of an “excuse”. I could pretend to study if anyone asks why I have my door closed. Maybe I need a good cry tonight. It also means I need to go to bed early enough.

Breaking things isn’t my typical behaviour, in the past, a lot of my anger got turned inward. But I am not at that level at least, thankfully. I don’t need more scars than I already have.

Halva is a confectionary dish, it’s buttery and sweet. It’s usually a dessert instead of dinner. Thai food sounds nice.

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

Calling at 10.00am sounds like a great plan! You are very wise because you also said you need patience to hold.

Excuse to shut door. Pretend to study sounds good. Or you need to make a call about study. A call to Sane will help you study.

Thanks for confirming you do not break things. That is what l wrote. There is no aggression in your chats. 

I thought Halva was a desert. Greek, Middle Eastern. And that is your dinner. Yummy! I sometimes eat out with a friend. If like chineses, we share small entree, share the main but we get a Banana Fritter with ice cream and maple syrup each. Rarely share desert. So enjoy your Halva.

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member, you know how often my mum has been telling me to study? Like a couple times a day. I have been struggling with motivation, probably because lots of emotional pain lives rent free in my head.

I do get irritable when things are hard, but I don’t do physical things to anyone. I don’t do self harm anymore, and hopefully never will again.

I think Halva actually originates from Persia. It became popular all over Middle East and South Asia, and it seems to have made its way to Greece too. Asian food can be good too. I think my food intolerances make eating out and takeaway hard at times, but it’s good when I can find something that sits okay with my body