I'm in a nest

[CheerBear]

Back now all is quieter in the house. They're in bed, but allowed to stay up in there a bit later than usual tonight. Bananas circus style here this evening, but I'd prepared myself for it at least 🙂

@Former-Member - Hope your cup of tea was good. It is great that you went out and did something nice for yourself today. I can completely understand the fear of a new hairdresser. I was in need of a haircut just before the big bang and had to leave with awful hair. I think I cried more over losing my hairdresser than most other people (for the first bit at least) lol. Hope it helps you feel better about yourself 🙂

@Pepsimax - hope your meeting went well and you are home and able to have some down time after it now 🙂

[Phoenix_Rising]

Goodnight nesters. @Former-Member I can definitely understand you giving up the search for a good therapist. They are oh-so-hard to find. I know the only thing that kept me going with the search was that I knew what an amazingly positive impact (K) had on me. I kept telling myself that I knew there was another "(K)" out there, I just had to find her. I know I have found her on this, my twelfth attempt, in 18 months.

@CheerBear I super hope today has been kinder to you than yesterday was. I know things are superly duperly tough right now. I really hope things settle in your world soon.

[Former-Member]

Oh wow! 12th attempt @Phoenix_Rising
I'm so pleased that you found someone finally.
I did have some helpful counselling many years ago. But no help from psychologists I've seen. I became desperate and tried a psychiatrist last year. Never again. She tried me on 3 meds straight away. All were terrible for me and she wanted to put me on others. I'm not taking any of them any more. After 2 months of trying the AD, I was on a fast downward spiral and took myself off them. The sleep med was terrible.
I take a sleep med recommend by a GP and an emergency anti anxiety med when needed, from the GP.
I'm glad others find psychs helpful. Unfortunately not for me.
Super glad you're finding this one helpful.
I'm sensitive to meds, I think.
The side affects are usually not bearable for me.
Anyway. Nighty night. 😴💙💛



Did you find a good hairdresser where you are now? @CheerBear 😊💕

[CheerBear]

I've found counselling and other support workers (family support via a social worker, my community MH worker etc) sometimes more helpful than psych too @Former-Member. Medication sensitive here too which can be really hard. Have you had any outreach support Bella?

I found a hairdresser who will do 🙂 I don't really care too much about my hair cut because the style grows out really quickly and I kind of mash it with colours and product too often to be fussy about it really. I just miss my old hairdresser encouraging me to be bold really. Were you happy enough to go back to the same person again?

[Former-Member]

Yes, I'll go back again @CheerBear
For trims and more foils

Not sure what ooutreach support is

I might have to sleep very soon. Took a med.
😴💕

[CheerBear]

Someone like a community mental health worker @Former-Member. Someone who will come to you, or meet up with you somewhere you feel ok in. I've recieved outreach support of different kinds over the years and find it often is the most helpful sort of support for me (depending on the worker). It might be worth having a bit of a think about maybe. I'm happy to share my experiences with you and answer questions if you have any (and I can), as I'm pretty sure lots of people here would be too. No pressure to even think about it though, just planting a seed, which you can throw away if you'd like 🙂

Hope you have a good sleep tonight xo

[Former-Member]

Thanks @CheerBear
I soooo sleepy now.
Night 😴💜💕

[CheerBear]

Good morning in the nest,

I went to bed last night reflecting on the day I'd had. It was a really good day and I tried to figure out how and why, so I could do more of it. I think what happened was that I listened to the warning alarm that 'write everything that has happened in an email' had on it, and instead sent an email that said I wasn't going to do that without support as it wouldn't be good for me. Then I switched off from it all. I think in doing that I put a boundary in place. If my CM's have done what they should have, it should all be on record anyway. The housing organisation have my experience on an audio file interview if they really want to know. I just want out of here, not to keep rehashing what's happened and getting nowehere, so there's no need for me to go over it all again for someone else's convenience. I think I'm going to hold on to that idea for a while.

I gave myself the day off from it all yesterday, and the effect was that I felt like I'd taken a holiday. I really don't cope with being stuck and feeling like I am not doing everything I can to unstick myself, but maybe sometimes things are like quicksand, in that the more I fight it the more I sink. There is stuff happening now thanks to the work I did on Monday, so I haven't really stopped fighting, but yesterday I stopped flailing about frantically trying to get out and instead just stopped and rested. It felt so good.

Yesterday gave me hope that once this is all sorted, maybe I will be ok, because without the stress of the big stuff, I am ok. I'm fairly sure this has all been said to me about 65 million times (by people here too), but I felt it yesterday.

So with that, I am off to start the day. Nothing scary happening today either, so I'll try to remember these words as I go about the day.

Hope it's a good day for everyone 💗😊

[Mazarita]

Good morning, @CheerBear. Wonderful to hear your day yesterday went well, long may it continue! Just dropping by to send good vibes for the day to you and everyone here.  

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good morning @Former-Member @CheerBear @Mazarita,

@Former-Member I've never had a lot of luck with medication. However, I did benefit from a low dose anti-psychotic while I was getting through my uni dissertation. Although it is technically an anti-psychotic, in very low doses it is used as a mood stabilizer and it also super helps with sleep. My plan was always to only be on it while I was getting through uni. By the time I stopped it, it was no longer having the mood stabilizing effect and even though it helped me sleep, I hated waking up groggy. Now I'm on an anti-depressant which I'm finding has no negative side effects and is actually really helping. I had tried this particular anti-depressant once years ago and at that time I got the super bad side effect of it increasing suicidal ideation. However, it hasn't done that this time. I don't plan to be on it forever - just until my world stabilizes a bit. For me, now having a GP who I trust and who totally respects my right to choose what medications I want/don't want to try has super helped me to be braver in exploring medication options.

Regarding psychologsts vs other helping people, I really think there is a serious issue in the way psychologists are trained, and this is why it is so darn hard to find a good one. My turtle whisperer is a psychologist, whereas (K) is a social worker, and both are as awesome as each other. I think the thing is that social workers and counsellors actually learn how to be social workers and counsellors at uni, whereas psychologists don't learn how to be psychologists at any point in their 4-year degree. Thus, the way they turn out as psychologists is pretty much 100% contingent on the quality of supervision they get during their 2-year internship / placements during their masters program and their own self-directed learning. Given how many dodgy psychologists there are out there, it makes sense that they just keep producing more dodgy ones because the newbies all learn from the existing ones. I really wish society would move on from thinking that psychologists are somehow more skilled or somehow better than other helping people!

@CheerBear I super love how positive you sound today. It sounds like your mini-holiday of yesterday has super helped. I hope today is also a wonderful day for you.

Now I REALLY must stay away from Forum Land for the day because my marking gig arrived last night and I super need to get stuck into it. However, as always, I will be here even when I'm not.