Newly Diagnosed

[RBPII]

Spent my first day with a diagnosis bizarrely happy at times and tired and antisocial at others. Am I in shock? 

[outlander]

hi @RBPII and welcome

would you like to talk about your diagnosis?
for some people it can be a shock and for some it cand be relief and bring on abit of joy because you have some answers to what is happening.

[CheerBear]

Hi @RBPII and welcome. I've found myself having lots of mixed feelings when it comes to being diagnosed and I've heard others say the same as @outlander mentioned.

For me I've had some relief in a way, like things make a bit more sense and hope that it means I have a kind of a direction to work with. I've also experienced questioning whether it fits for me, what it means about me, how much of 'me' a diagnosis is etc. I've felt a sense of loss at times in a way and worry that there was something wrong with me. It's been scary, hopeful, strange, frustrating, sad - lots of things. I think it can take time to process something like this sometimes.

I wonder whether the the feelings you mentioned having are usual feelings for you or are whether they are something new?

[BryanaCamp]

hi @RBPII welcome to the forums.

I have severe and debilitating mental illness but no current diagnosis, that said I've been labelled with a lot of different diagnoses by various mental health professionals over the years. Each time it has really stung & made me feel disabled, damaged & wrong. But then that faded and I moved on from it.

On the upside, it's good to hear you've experienced feelings of happiness, so it's good to know you have the capacity to feel happy. Sometimes I go for days without feeling happy and worry I've lost the capacity for that.

I can also understand feeling tired and un-social as the weight of a diagnosis can be very heavy & tiring and make you feel alienated from everyone you know - all of a sudden you're different from everyone else, so it feels more natural to be by yourself.

I'm not much of a fan of diagnoses, all I care about is symptom relief & quality of life. If I've got that then I don't need a diagnosis. But I've never met another peer who shares this view, most peers I've heard say diagnosis is a useful thing.

I hope you find your diagnosis useful. Keep posting here if it's helpful, we'll do our best to support you.

[RBPII]

Thanks @outlander  I appreciate the offer. You’re right,  I think it’s the mixed feeling of finding out that there actually is something more going on, and confirming the feelings / questions I’ve had about myself for a long time. It’s also confusing because a lot of the quirks about me that I actually consider strengths relate to the diagnosis I’ve been given.

[outlander]

hi @RBPII
your diagnosis doesnt define who you are. if you see some of your quirks your strengths then i would encourage you to keep seeing them as that.

having mixed feelings is a really natural response and sometimes it takes time for it all to sink in as well.

something i done when i was diagnosed i done research on the diagnosis and also asked what helped others as well.

Would you like to talk about your diganosis?

[RBPII]

Thank you @BryanaCamp , your openness really gives me hope. I guess like I said to @outlander it kinda just gives me an idea that there is a reason why I keep having the extremes of the cycles of my life, and that I can reach out for help from people who can really understand having gone through their own extremes ...

I too believe in symptom relief and quality of life over a particular diagnosis, I’ve always tried to give anything a go that may make a positive difference in my life and take any categorisation with a grain of salt. 

I understand what what it feels like to feel a certain way for days on end and lose hope that I can be happy again, or at least not sad or hopeless or worthless or whatever the dark thoughts may be. Thankfully I have collected a couple of skills over my life now to ask for help (despite it being excruciatingly difficult) and a couple friends have started to recognise when I’m falling or withdrawing. 

Thank you so much again for being there and responding. 

[RBPII]

Oh @CheerBear you essentially took the thoughts out of my head. I have done a lot of work (I thought) over the course of my life already to be better and do better in a positive way , and I think at times like this it seems like another impossible mountain. Maybe not impossible, but a pretty huge mountain all the same. 

I think theres some truth in what you said, these are normal feelings for me and ones that I’ve experienced before, just in a different context. 

And i agree , it’s going to be a while to get used to it. And not a linear process. 

[BryanaCamp]

hi @RBPII you're so welcome

You sound like you have a really positive attitude, existing strategies for managing your mental health, strong insight into your feelings and excellent support in your friends who keep an eye on you. Lots of people don't have any of those things - personally, I became unable to have relationships due to my mental illness, for 7 years I had no friends or family. For the last 2 years I've built up a group of friends who are really nice & built bonds back with family which is very nice too. So the fact that you have healthy, supportive relationships with friends indicates to me that you have great relationship & social skills, that's a huge strength. I think you'll do really well with your new diagnosis as you explore how to feel more well with it once the initial shock passes.

My support for my MI is simply medication & my psychiatrist (I tried everything else under the sun including psychologists, support groups, self-help, diet & lifestyle)  but they only made me agitated & aggravated. The main symptom I suffer from is nightmarish psychotic symptoms/ruminating accompanied by unrelenting rage for days on end, lucky my anti-psychotics help a lot with that. Plus my psychiatrist is a cool guy who I admire & like. What are your supports, does your new diagnosis point to some specific treatments to trial... - meds, DBT, CBT, mindfulness? 

I went for a hike yesterday, my main way of keeping physically healthy. Here's some forest treetops for you to ponder 

hi @outlander @CheerBear hope you're travelling well today

[salzie]

Hello, I'm newly diagnosed too alongside PTSD. I'm feeling like I'm going through a bit of shock at the moment and I'm just struggling to process. Even more ironic is the fact that I'm studying psychology through uni and working in the community services sector. I'm really bloody good at it too but now I'm questioning what I'm doing, why I'm doing it and whether I should be doing it long-term. It hurts. Feel like a giant phoney.