Riding a wave

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good morning ,

The ocean has been super calm all weekend and remains so today. I am working a bit on my Forum Land addiction - hence why I have been quiet over the past couple of days. 

@CheerBear I super love that you had a 'moment' imagining yourself as cheerbear lying on a unicorn floatie. That is such a nice image. 

@Former-Member Yes, yes, it's all very amusing that you have corrupted me such that I now have intrusive thoughts about the moon wearing underpants. Imagine if I ever try to discuss THAT issue with a mental health professional. Phew, good thing Dr Havetodo is so understanding! The wind has gone now. It's just overcast and rather chilly here today.

@Owlunar Thank you for your kind words. I'm not sure that I am really that brave. I think it's more a matter of just doing what I have to do. My ocean is beautifully calm at the moment and I have been able to get on with some things I've been wanting (and needing) to do for ages. I have no doubt at all that you are correct in saying I know more than my therapist - both all my past therapists and also therapist-take-twelve who I am having my first session with tomorrow. I am very confident that I am the expert on my life. I know what I need. The super challenge has been finding a therapist who gets that, and who can meet me where I'm at. I am extremely hopeful that therapist-take-twelve is the one. Here's hoping that I'm right! 

I hope you are having a nice day @Owlunar. I also hope you have fun in Sydney. I went on a ferry a few weeks ago for the first time in decades. I was in the city and just impulsively decided to take a trip to Manly. It was super fun. 

[CheerBear]

@Phoenix_Rising - I love that the ocean has remained calm for you. I miss you when you're not around, but am happy for you thinking that not around often means you're off doing stuff that you want while the ocean is calm.

Happy yoga class day! 🙂

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear I am here even when I am not. 

[Owlunar]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising

I do believe you are very brave - much more than you think

What do you think it cost the Phoenix to rise from the ashes - after all - just think about it - this magnificient bird keeps a cycle of dying and rising again - and I found a pic of a phoenix - not a lock but a wonderful , fantastic being

Oh wow!!! You identify with something like this - you do indeed have courage - but alas - I guess this is a pretty scary story too - I would not have thought of that. I have only got owls - lot of owls - and I even have an owl story

So yes - I do see you as courageous - maybe that's a part of the circle you haven't quite focussed on yet

But yes - we often do know more than our doctors or therapist - or ministers or bosses or whomever - I have found I often know more - and I don't think that it's because I have a virtue of some kind - it's just that I like studying

Recently I wrote about a converation I had with my pain specialist - and she deals with geriatric pain - and so I have seen some of the other patients and I am still switched on and I think she finds this rather disconcerting. We had a really weird conversation about whether I could drive again or not - and she kept telling me about how fast the traffic is now - and how long it is since I drove - and I told her I had noticed but I was more concerned about whether my left shoulder (two operations) could stand the swinging on the steering wheel in parking areas. I remember saying at some stage "Yes - I can hear you are concerned about the traffic and I have noticed but I am more concerned with my shoulder" but I never finished that sentence and the conversation went nowhere

I think I could drive again but my shoulder is more of a concern - I have had what's called an acriminoplasty - the bone in my shoulder has been thinned down - damaged bone removed - and I feel intense frustration that my concern is not noted when I have told her that I have heard her

So I think I understand what you are saying about your therapists - and how frustrating this must be

Is this professional hubris? I really liked my last therapist whom I only saw for a few sessions - she told me she liked me - I asked philosophical questions that challenged her - and I obviously knew the mythology behind many archetypal images relevant to psychology. It was very satisfying - and the last time I saw her I knew I did not need a therapist for the time being and I haven't

But this might have been a brilliant "aha click" - I saw myself as she saw me and that was positive - an older person being very alert and drawing on very deep ideas and as for her - she was willing - even happy to go there

Phoenix - there is a lot in the avatar you have chosen - I am sure you have done this with understanding - and you are very brave - also - I am glad your ocean is calm today

What an essay - I think perhaps I should read this again - I might like to keep it handy

Dec

Yes - I like it

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good night Forum Land. @Baboo are you watching over the ocean tonight? Tomorrow I'm having my first session with therapist-take-twelve. I'm super sure she is the right one...I so very badly hope so. And if she IS the right one, I super hope she doesn't get squished by a bus or something. Given the way things tend to go in my life, that seems painfully likely.

[CheerBear]

Good morning @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

Just popping past to wish you good luck for your adventure today (not that I think you'll need it). I really hope there is no bus squishing (for both yourself and therapist-take-twelve) today. I also hope that therapist-take-twelve speaks fluent turtle and is able to communicate with you as well as I'm sure you'll be able to communicate with her.

Looking forward to hearing about your adventure if and when you share. Am thinking of you and will be throughout the day 🙂

[Former-Member]

Good luck today @Phoenix_Rising

[Pepsimax]

Go well today @Phoenix-Rising Thinking of you too

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good morning @CheerBear @Former-Member @Pepsimax, Thank you for dropping by the ocean today. My appointment with therapist-take-twelve isn't until late in the day (so I hope she doesn't get squished by a bus before then!!!).

@CheerBear I really am hopeful that therapist-take-twelve might be able to speak fluent turtle. It will be so super amazing to have someone here in the real world who I can communicate effectively with. I still superly duperly miss (K).

Anyway, here's hoping that therapist-take-twelve speaks fluent turtle AND doesn't get a sudden urge to quit work to have a kid (like therapist-take-one) or turn out to be just plain odd (like therapist-take-two and therapist-take-three) or uses a ridiculous therapist-y voice during sessions (like therapist-take-four) or decide not to accept me as a client after the initial session even though I super like her (like therapist-take-five) or tell me that I couldn't have BPD because he liked me when he met me and people with BPD aren't likeable (like therapist-take-six) or get me scheduled and then dump me the next day, telling Victims services she was traumatized from working with me (like therapist-take-seven) or say something completely dumb-arse five minutes into the first session, which triggered chaos and a whole lot of headbanging on my part (like therapist-take-eight) or be amazingly nice yet amazingly not on my wavelength (like (A) who was therapist-take-nine) or fail to put the time into actually knowing my story and thereby triggerering chaos like the neurofeedback psychologist (that would be therapist-take-ten) or...well we all know what happened with therapist-take-eleven!!!! Yep, if therapist-take-twelve can just avoid all of that, I think it should be ok.

Far out...how the heck can there be so many unhelpful helping people out there. I am so very very grateful for helpful helping people like @Former-Member and @Former-Member 

By the way @Former-Member, my GP told me the other day that therapist-take-eleven called her after THAT session. Apparently she was super impressed with how quickly you could help me move through my big feelings during THAT phone call. Yay for @Former-Member.

Hey @Former-Member, what the heck is going on with the moon at the moment? In the last twenty four hours it was wearing such big underpants, they completely obliterated the sun!!!!

 Look @NikNik, the ocean is calm - just like in some of those pictures you have posted over the past few weeks (or is it months!!!). I never thought the ocean was going to look like that ever again!!!! Have a nice day out on the calm and sunny ocean everyone.

[Zoe7]

@Phoenix_Rising wishing you all the best for a great outcome with therapist-take-twelve later today. I will be sending 'compatible vibes' in your direction.