Riding a wave

[Phoenix_Rising]

You can hear me without hearing me @Former-Member? Like @CheerBear? And you are right here? I'm so so so so so so so confused and afraid. 

I have "talked out" my feelings to TTT in a form of art that I haven't done for a really really long time. She doesn't yet know that this is something I do. I know she will hear me...but I also know the bigness of this form of artwork and I know she will know that I have fallen out of the window. Alas, I have to wait an entire week to show her...but I know that when I do, she will hear me and that is calming. I feel super sad that I have fallen out of the window again because I know every time I fall out, it breaks my brain a bit more. 

We haven't got up to the golden ticket yet. We are up to Grandpa Jo describing to Charlie how super amazing Willy Wonka is and how he can do impossible things like make icecream that doesn't melt even if you leave it out in the sun. 

[Former-Member]

I hear the words you are telling me @Phoenix_Rising- I hear you are so confused and afraid. I am sitting with you hearing that.

It is a super amazing ticekt isn't it. Free flowing chocolate river- now that's my kind of swimming hole 🙂

Easy does it @Phoenix_Rising. I know @CheerBear will be back in the land of forums again and hear you without hearing again.

Take care 🙂

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member super big thank you for hearing me. @CheerBear is my not-friend - she is always here and always hearing - even when she's not. 

[Shaz51]

sittting with you @Phoenix_Rising 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member this is going to sound a little odd but anyway...

I am super struggling right now and therefore I have pretty much nothing to give to anyone. However, my inside is telling me that I need to tell you that I am thinking about you right now and wondering how you are going, even though if you respond and you are struggling, I have very little to give you. I trust my inside...even when I don't understand it. 

That is all. 

[Former-Member]

From what I can tell, your inside is always spot on, @Phoenix_Rising.

You don’t need to give me anything. The fact that you are thinking of me and thought to tag me, and that I therefore mean something to someone, means more to me than I can say. Thank you. And thank you for being you.

I’m sorry there is so much very wrong wrongness.  I know I haven’t been in Forum Land but I have been reading along. I hope the ocean settles a bit for you tonight, but for now I am in the giant waves with you.

(P.S. It doesn't sound odd at all.)

[Phoenix_Rising]

You mean a super lot to me @Former-Member. 

[Former-Member]

Thanks, @Phoenix_Rising. You mean a super lot to me, too.

By the way, I know gigantic waves are super tricky, but you've totally got this.

[CheerBear]

Always here and hearing you @Phoenix_Rising. When you can't see me it's probably either because you're snuggled so deep in that pocket or because I'm alongside you tucked up in a giant floating unicorn. But I'm right here.

You know something I have been thinking of lately? How cool that property with the two houses would be. Maybe we could add a giant chocolate river to it? We could float pancakes in it so we can have them with our sauce like you did for breakfast the other day 😄 Poffertjes would go awesomely in a chocolate river. And their name makes me laugh because I pronounce it kind of like you pronounce cinnamon and nemo pronounces anemone.

I got the feels reading that you did some art. I hope it helped to talk your feelings out through it. I wish we could all stay in our windows - it's much better for hurting heads that way.

@Former-Member - it's so good to see you. I've missed you. I've been hoping that you've been doing what you need to stay safe enough so I sat on my "worry I might annoy bookish if I tag" fingers. Mouse cat dropped off a Noni the Pony toy when I was sad the other night and it instantly reminded me of you which. I took a photo for you but I don't think it's a sharable one. Thinking of you often, hoping your world is managable but imagining it's pretty hard.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear I am going to snuggle deep deep DEEP into your pocket, where nobody can hurt me. You really and truly do hear without hearing don't you. And you feel the super gigantic bigness of the muddle and the giant feelings and the wrongness of the wrong? 

The two-housed property would be SUPER. We would definitely have a chocolate river with floating pancakes and profiteroles (which I'm thinking you may pronounce "pofitols" or something like that).

After seeing my pancake photo, you would have to feel super ok about entrusting your LF to my care if we lived together but not on a giant two-housed property and you needed to go to a break place. Clearly I am very capable of ensuring that LF are well fed. 

Today has been so so SO hard in my world due to multiple email buses. I am at that point of feeling sick every time the email notification sounds. 

Good night @CheerBear. I hope you are feeling rested after your sleeping and yarning day. Super gigantic thank you for being the best not friend in the whole entire Universe. 

@Former-Member I am not sure if you are meandering around Forum Land tonight, but if you are, good night. 

Good night Forum Land. Today was horrendous, but it will be over forever in less than three hours and then I will get to start a brand new day. Yay for not living on Venus.