Riding a wave

[Zoe7]

Thinking of you little turtle. Goodnight also @Phoenix_Rising

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Pepsimax @Zoe7 @TheVorticon Super big thank you for caring about me. I am snuggled in my shell in @CheerBear's pocket and right now I feel like I'm never ever coming out...but I also know the big feelings will pass.

This evening I have been preparing for a tutoring session that I'm doing with a...wait for it...PSYCHOLOGIST tomorrow morning. She is one of those people who has been a psychologist for ages and is now doing her clinical masters. I cannot begin to tell you how wrong it feels that I have such utter contempt for the whole profession and my brain is fried from so many of them doing so much harm...and yet I step into this other world where they come to me to help them survive the statistics component of their course. It feels so wrong...and yet they pay me and I need the money.

On the bright side, HAVING to look at this stuff tonight has been an awesome distraction from the rest of the chaos in my world. I really am a nerd. Revising stuff out of my stats textbook makes me feel super calm. It's so...ordered and predictable and...just super nice. Yay for being a geeky turtle.

I am so very VERY grateful that you are all here in Forum Land. I will fix my brain somehow...but for now I'm just going to snuggle into @CheerBear's pocket with Squishy and Mr Seahorse. @CheerBear if you COULD make me a psychiatrist/psychologist, that would be super. He may not help...but at least he would do no harm...which would be an improvement on the vast majority of mental health professionals out there.

[Faith-and-Hope]

💚🐢💚 💕 @Phoenix_Rising .....

[Phoenix_Rising]

I miss (K). I miss her so much. I miss her so so so so SO much. I just needed the world to know that I am flooded with grief for her right now...and (A) told me months ago that there was no point talking about (K) anymore.

[Zoe7]

@Phoenix_Rising Here are a couple of 'friends' for you to snuggle in with also little turtle...

[Owlunar]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising

I can't "Like" your post either with such a rotten session from that PSYCHOLOGIST - psychologist - really. Um

Lets see

1. Takes a phone call 10 seconds into a session

2. Answers a knock at the door for a random stranger during the session

3. Touches you without asking

4. Asks if you need an ambulance,

Eekkkk - wow - 

That would make you feel invisible, devalued etc etc

I hope you don't pay for that - really bad - I doubt you could have been able to feel better after that

I hope you are okay today - I'm sorry for yesterday

Dec

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hello Forum Land,

Today is looking amazingly calm out here on the ocean given the tsunami of yesterday. I woke up feeling HORRENDOUS and wondering how I was ever going to "bluff" my way through the tutoring session I had scheduled for this morning. However, the student turned out to be super nice. She was really giggly over her total lack of stats knowledge and she kept making me laugh. We talked about the absurdity of psychology students having to spend so much time and energy dealing with inferential statistics rather than learning how to actually help people.

It felt a little weird because she was really nice and easy to talk to...and she doesn't live all that far from me. However, I can hardly say "oh by the way, you actually sound like a decent psychologist, can I see you" when she has engaged me as a tutor, can I! Now THAT'S frustrating!!!!

Anyway, engaging the bit of my brain that actually works and having a giggle with someone has helped quell the storm of yesterday. Wow, I guess that means I've just discovered for the six billionth, four hundred and fifty eight thousand, nine hundred and seventy-first time that big feelings pass.

[Owlunar]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising

I only did a psychology unit as part of my Honours Degree at 4th year and that was for the meaning of symbols and similar things in literature - English was my Major

It was interesting - I had a really good feel for the anecdotal side of psychology - but never had to do the "stats and rats" than some of my colleagues had to do - it does make me wonder a whole lot about the scientific side of psychology

It's so good you had a giggle with your student - when I was doing private tutoring I had a much better time and the sessions when better if the student was enjoying themselves. People learn more then

I didn't realise you were tutoring - all the best with that. 

Are you able to take on people as clients?

Dec

[Former-Member]

Morning @Phoenix_Rising

I'm so glad to hear and see that things are much calmer on the ocean today Sometimes all we need is that bit of human connection and your new student sounds lovely..I'm glad you got to connect with someone like that. It was perfect timing given you were still feeling horrendous this morning.

We both know how much of a joke I think stats are...so lets not go there

Anyway just wanted to stop by and say that I'm glad you were able to have a giggle this morning and that the seas are calmer today. Yay for turtle victory for today!!

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Owlunar,

Thank you for stopping by the ocean. I'm not actually sure whether the psychologist of yesterday will be paid for the session. I saw her through ATAPS. In any case, I personally am not out of pocket for it.

I don't advertise the fact that I tutor in stats, but I seem to pick up students here and there via word-of-mouth. Late last year I was really enthusiastic about putting my name out there and building a business in tutoring, but that plan got smashed when therapist...um...eight dumped me in November. We both knew we weren't working great together, but she kept telling me she wouldn't dump me. My cat passed away on the 9th of November and a week later, therapist-take-eight told me she wouldn't work with me anymore...but that she would stay until I found someone. I went into chaotic crisis and a week later she called the police on me thinking I was at imminent risk of suicide. I wasn't. When the police came, I was in bed screaming out my big feelings into my pillow. Chaotic? Yes. At risk of harm? No. Nevertheless, they dragged me off to the hospital. We got there at 9pm and I wasn't seen until 4am, by which time there was no psychiatrist around to say I was ok to go home...and thus I got locked up in the psych ward until about 11am. So...I got home from the hospital around mid-day...and a couple of hours later therapist-take-eight phoned and told me she wouldn't see me again. So...she got me scheduled in the evening...and then she dumped me the next day knowing I had near-zero support - hmmmm. And thus I sank into amazing crisis, with only my GP for support and that's when I started seeing my GP weekly...which has continued all the way up until now.

Wow, that got long, didn't it. Anyway, that's why I have got so side-tracked on the idea of doing more tutoring. I really enjoyed working with this student this morning though and yet again I am thinking about how if ONLY I can get some stability in my world, then my brain might settle enough for me to take some baby steps forward.

If @Former-Member can just control the tides enough to keep the ocean calm, I may yet find my way out of my muddle.