Riding a wave

[TheVorticon]

Glad lil-caterpillar and lisajane and I could hang out and help for a bit. Toy turtle sounds like a good swimmer too.

It's good that you can identify that as a contributing factor @Phoenix_Rising. Hopefully it's kind of helpful so you can be like "ok this is extra intense because <hormones> but that's a thing that fluctuates and passes so these feelings can too". Or something. Maybe. (Or maybe I'm waaay off base in which case feel free to tell me so!)
Sleep well. Hope you have a good chat with your psychologist tomorrow morning.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising,

We've had a change of moderator with a delay, plus a tsunami of new posts so it's taken a while to read this thread. Glad to see now that you rode that big wave of struggle and suicidal thinking until it passed, and that you had such great support from your friends here on Sane!

It's a great credit to you that you focussed on getting through this evening and seeing your psychologist tomorrow. 

Well done also to @TheVorticon@Former-Member@Former-Member@Former-Member your mates who supported you. What an awesome community have here on the forum.

Let us know how you are travelling tomorrow Phoenix Rising.

kind regards,

Frog

[Former-Member]

@Phoenix_Rising - you've been on my mind this weekend. Our squishy has been joined by a purple seahorse, a hamburger and a set of traffic lights in the ocean that is chalk drawings at my house. Once again, they've come to ride the wave after it has passed - but I have photos to share for if/when the right moment happens. Wishing you well at your appointment in the morning, it's not far away 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member are you still around?

[Phoenix_Rising]

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@TheVorticon wrote:

It's good that you can identify that as a contributing factor @Phoenix_Rising. Hopefully it's kind of helpful so you can be like "ok this is extra intense because <hormones> but that's a thing that fluctuates and passes so these feelings can too". Or something. Maybe. (Or maybe I'm waaay off base in which case feel free to tell me so!)

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That is an impressively sensitive response from a guy @TheVorticon  Yes, it is helpful in exactly the way that you describe.

@Former-Member Traffic lights in the ocean sound like a super good idea. That will help me to know when I need to swim around to distract, or stop and float while the waves crash over me. Your little one is clearly very wise.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi all,

Wow, this wave set just keeps going and going and going. I've just got home from seeing my psychologist and she seems as lost as me as to how to proceed. She did point out that part of the issue is that we spend about 35 minutes out of every 50 minute session trying to regulate my big feelings...which does make progress tricky. I am TRYING to hang in there...but as the weeks go by and we keep getting spectacularly nowhere, the hopelessness grows.

On the bright side, after the explosive flood of emotion (that took up 35 minutes of the 50 minute session), I do feel calmer for the moment and able to just ride the waves without feeling too freaked out by them. I know that once the physical exhaustion of having dumped all that emotion (my emotion dumps are kind-of big!) wears off, it's all going to rev up again, but for now, I think I'm ok to just float on these gigantic waves. @Former-Member if you happen to be anywhere in the ocean today, it would be nice to see you float by.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Ok...I've gone from coping to really not. Is anyone around to ride with me? @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @utopia.

[Former-Member]

Ill ride it with you @Phoenix_Rising just really struggling myself but im here ❤

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member I know you are struggling, that's why I didn't tag you. I super know you care...I just need to feel that there is someone bigger than the big wave here right now, if that makes sense.

[Former-Member]

Yeah makes sense @Phoenix_Rising