Lived Experience Forum

[KFPDW]

If someone has gone through a tough time and are dealing with some type of trauma, then of course it's understandable that they feel the way they feel. But if they make you feel uncomfortable by always having a go at you or constantly winding you up or acting selfish or just plain difficult, then is it okay that you don't feel okay and that you want to speak up about it? And if someone isn't treating other people in way that you don't think is right, then why don't people say anything? Is it because they know the person is going through a tough time and they know their mental health state is quite fragile? Because I honestly feel like if someone is treating others in a negative way, that's not okay. Because it only spreads the pain and they aren't considering how the other person is feeling.

[hanami]

Hi @KFPDW 

I totally agree. Just because you have a mental health illness it doesn't excuse you from being a good human towards others. I once had a supervisor who was awful. Other employees would say she's the way she is because of her past such and such and her current diagnosis. Well that did not wash with me. She was plain horrible some of the things she said. And I could not excuse them!

Hanami

[KFPDW]

Hi @hanami

Thanks for replying to my post and I'm glad you understand where I am coming from. Sorry you had to deal with that horrible Supervisor. I've had my fair share of working with difficult people. What your Supervisor did is definitely NOT okay! Regardless of what they are struggling with. I honestly believe that bullying is not okay and yeah, just because you're struggling with your own troubles, that doesn't make it okay to have a go at others and make them feel bad. I feel like if something like this happens, it's worth bringing up and talking about it to someone who will listen to you at the very least.

[hanami]

Totally with you there @KFPDW 

Sorry you've had to work with crappy people too! Not pleasant when you have to be around them all day. 

❤️

[KFPDW]

Thanks @hanami 🙂

I really appreciate that. Yeah absolutely no fun whatsoever. Thankfully I have moved on from those workplaces to a better work life altogether which is great! I hope that you have been able to do the same on your end. Although it's hard to be reminded of difficult people when it occurs in media. I constantly see characters giving other people grief but no one ever says anything or act like it's totally okay. Granted they might be going through a hard time but it doesn't make it okay to lash out at others or make them feel bad. I'm a artist/animator and I hope that one day that I can create something that shows that if you don't feel okay, then it's okay to speak up.

[hanami]

@KFPDW  I have definitely moved on from the workplace I referred to!

Thank goodness for us.

I love that idea about designing something. My daughter is 19 and doing vis comm at UTS and is right into drawing/anime that sort of thing. She's very talented and I can already see she will be able to use her work to help foster social change. 

Hanami

[KFPDW]

@hanami

That's awesome you have been able to move on. Happy for you. And wow, that's so cool that your Daughter is into Art and Animation too. I did Vis Com back in High School Too. 🙂 I wish her the best of luck in her studies and her future.

[hanami]

Thankyou so much @KFPDW !

[Owlunar]

Hi @KFPDW 

I understand your question about people lashing out - it's really hard to understand why they do this - one person told me once that "Hurting people hurt people." Really - I don't understand why people lash out and pass the pain around to other people.

Even though I am a pretty compassionate and understanding person - and sure of myself too - I have been hurt by people "passing the pain around" - which makes it totality of it worse actually. I don't understand why people do this - it makes no sense to me.

So - really - as much as I would like to reply with more knowledge - I have no idea really - except that angry people do behave it this unacceptable social manner - eventually driving other people away. 

Perhaps they have a defence mechanism built into their psyche - e.g. - "Get them before they get me" - which is counterproductive - and lacks sense - 

I hope you are able to get away from these people - they have a problem it seems - and maybe feel better if they feel as if they have made a problem for other people - I don't know.

But thanks for posting - I am glad you have shared this

Owlunar

[florencefifty]

This is one of the things I really struggle with. I work in customer service, and I have always said that dealing with abusive customers is an area of development for me. I said that during an interview once, and I was rejected; the TA guy said I would be yelled at during basically every call. 

I think the important part is to look after yourself first. Don’t get caught up too much in thinking about how unfair it is, or being angry about it. It’s true. It is unfair. It […] sucks. It doesn’t make any sense. However true it is, though, people are going to be rude anyway. You’re going to run into that situation again, because you can’t control people’s behaviour. So just be conscious of when you’re thinking about it and getting angrier and angrier, and make sure you take care of yourself in whatever way you find works best.

Mindfulness really helps in this. My Mum said today, “why would you be angry at customers getting angry with you? They’re on the phone, they can’t travel through the phone and hurt you. They don’t come home with you.” Just remind yourself that even though you’re THINKING of people who are cruel and just plain frustrating, at the moment you’re somewhere safe.

Again, though, I struggle with it myself, so I don’t really know.

@KFPDW .