Am Not Coping

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thought you'd like them .... 😊

Might have to paint those too ..... ❣️

[Zoe7]

Any pictures I'd draw at the moment would be pretty dark so might not be a good idea @Faith-and-Hope

I need to tell her exactly what is going on though - we had to do my paperwork for income protection the other day and she was already over an hour behind so I didn't tell her anything. But I know it is getting to a really serious stage now and I am really 'worn-out' by everything. I have fallen so far back that there has to be changes made - and soon - otherwise I do know where it is heading - and I won't have the energy to 'pick myself up'. I am already starting to 'lose time' and not 'feel' - so I know my depression is getting even worse day by day.

[Zoe7]

None of them are me - I don't do dresses lol @Faith-and-Hope The first one would be closest - but a lot shorter and three times the width... lol

[Faith-and-Hope]

I am glad you're planning to tell her everything @Zoe7. 

Would you consider a respite centre for day attendance ?  Support classes ?  I know the facility S2 is going to for his appointment ps have classes .... am wondering whether WH and I are going to be recommended to attend some.  Wondering too whether we will be given questionnaires to fill in ....

Hugs ..... 🤗💕

[Zoe7]

With all the things we are supposed to be painting I am going to need a bigger house lol - and more paint @Faith-and-Hope

I hope I don't get in there tomorrow and can't say anything to my GP. I have tended to put o a pretty good mask lately with her and my psychiatrist.

I have such a fear of people - especially people I don't know - at the moment so anywhere that I don't know or being around people really is out of the question. I am stuck in a horrible situation where I don't feel safe anywhere and any little thing can trigger me. This is as bad as it has ever been. Whereas previously I would have flashbacks occasionally and the physical side effects were more short term - now I am constantly feeling the effects and that in turn triggers me again - so it is a never-ending cycle at the moment. I don't know how else to explain it without more detail - but it is destroying me.

I bet you are given questionnaires! Goodluck with that one - you'll be ok but WH will most likely get very defensive going on what you have said - and I'm sure he will be in total denial whatever is said - and I suspect you will be blamed for everything anyway. I hope not Hon - I hope it finally starts opening his eyes to what he is doing to you.

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope I hope you are asleep  I need to lay down on the couch - still feeling really sick and am totally exhausted. Hopefully I will be able to close my eyes and not feel nauseous still then I might be able to get some sleep - no scary images, no nightmares and not feeling wide awake and alert from fear. Catch up with you tomorrow - thanks for keeping me company Hon 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Awake again now @Zoe7, but only temporarily ...,, didn't want to wake WH by the time Inhad finished painting, sonslept squashed up on the couch for a bit. WH has commandeered cleaning up S2's room and it's all over the lounge room, where he has washed everything hung in sight and got D2 to fold it all in giant piles ..., now that he is up and off jogging, I am crawling into bed and hopefully grabbing another couple of hours sleep without my knees under my chin .... lol .....

Will be thinking of you today ..... 🤗💜💐💕

[Zoe7]

Oh dear @Faith-and-Hope I hope you can manage some more comfortable sleep this morning Hon 

I dozed on and off on the couch for the last couple of hours - certainly not ideal but better than nothing!

Goodluck with your painting today - I really hope you get it finished and it is what you envisaged it to be.

I'll be thinking of you today also and sending you all my love and any creative inspiration I have...

hugs and hugs and hugs... 

[Zoe7]

@Faith-and-Hope 

[Former-Member]

Thinking of you ladies, relate to your struggles and wishing you well. It will pass. Get some sunshine today 🌞🌿🌷💜☕