My Hospital Stay

[Faith-and-Hope]

Me too ..... ❣️

@utopia

[Former-Member]

Oh sorry @utopia but I had to burst out laughing reading about your manic room mate, my goodness!! And you write it so well. Glad there was room elsewhere. The shakes are odd, maybe talk to the nurse about it. Maybe adrenaline, PTSD episode, your medication... You take it easy. Hang in there. 🌷🌿🙏

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia - sorry about your room mate. Some patients actually ask for shared rooms and you were the one chosen to be her 'special friend'  I would say they deliberately paired you up as they assumed you were the quiet and tolerant type. I hope you can get some rest now - take it easy

[utopia]

@Owlunar @Sahara @Zoe7. Some great practical tips from you and great acknowledgement that the 'shaking'was okay.
Love your photos @Zoe7. I love rocks and water and plants. Very me - those photos.
I actually cried aloud "oh no" when I read about Simon & Alene. You would think I knew them personally from my reaction. Lol. But I hope they find their individual loves in the near future.

[utopia]

Thanks everyone. No more severe shaking. Little trembling - but I really think is more about my body physically reacting to the stressors and feelings I'm now encountering.
With no longer being able to / or choosing not to self medicate my feelings into numbness & having to feel them - is a whole new world of experiences. I told the nurse thst it's like the tap has now been turned on & the feelings are flowing. Unfortunately the tap has been turned on FULL - instead of a little trickle. But I'm coping. But this tap being turned on meant that yesterday I cried when I saw today's desert menu. And it was one of my favorites. So I cry over anything now. Lol. I find it frustrating sometimes - but other times so funny.
I'm doing okay

[CrayTat]

Just try to be yourself so they can properly diagnosis. Stick to a medication if you want to expedite things. Find a clique that you connect with. Isolation is dangerous, but take time to find people you connect with. They observe everything, but make that to your advantage by being real to how you normally behave.

[Shaz51]

Hugs @utopia 

[utopia]

Part 2
Day 6
Have given up on day 5. Can't even remember what happened yesterday - not even the positives.
So today. Woke up in a different room. So thankful my friend let me take the spare bed in her room. Slept totally. No waking. Didn't hear a thing. Peace.
Today my I went back to my room and my roommate was moved to a single room. Ends up the staff last night forgot to give her her meds!!!! No wonder she was bouncing off the walls last night. But even with her high mania - I can still see her kind personality shinning through. So I got a new roommate this afternoon. No mania. Not trying to 'fix' me. So we'll be fine.
Went to a mindfulness practice session today. Thank god. Finally a practical self help tool.
Facilitator went through the body scan. I've never been able to do this - even in my meditation class. But today I managed to actually visualise and feel 3 different areas of my body.
Previous score at body scanning - 0
Todays body scan score - 3.
Winner!!!
Was surprised to find how sleepy and calm I felt after this class. Especially when I walked in in an anxious state.
Went to lunch - couldn't wait to see the Chocolate Puddings that I'd cried about yesterday. If they looked as good as I hoped they would - then I wouldn't eat a lunch meal - I would just eat 5 puddings. Maybe a slight exaggeration - but definitely 3.
I went to where the deserts are held. No chocolate pudding. So I went to the kitchen serving counter. They must be there. I asked the lunch lady. No. They had to change the menu today because they didn't have the ingredients. So I cried. And the kitchen lady looked freaked out at my reaction (not the normal kitchen lady). So I ordered the vegie soup. Wiped my eyes. Ate lunch and chain smoked in the courtyard. But was ok.
Second section of today will be written soon. Another AHA break through that I hope @Former-Member and @Faith-and-Hope and others may understand and maybe get some benefit from.

[Zoe7]

@utopia 

[utopia]

Thank you @Zoe7 for my chocolate pudding. And it looks way more delicious than they would serve in here.