Hi @utopia
So, so sorry my friend to read that you are struggling so. I am glad you reached out also for professional help as hospital right now would be the safest and best place to receive the proper care you need and so deserve. One moment at a time now my friend...
It does not get easy overnight @utopia and the road can be long but with help it does eventually get better, for now you have hit a bump, but you will find and learn better ways to deal with the bad days. Please remember that with abstinence there comes the withdrawal which can make everything seem harder to begin with as turmoil can precede equilibrium. Keep this in mind when you feel distressed saying to yourself "this too will pass" and hold strong.
You need time and more time for your body to adjust without alcohol and more time for your mind to adjust to coping without this crouch. It's a process - Patience my friend - all will work out. Allow yourself the time you need for healing.
Keep leaning on us here, your friends and medical professionals. Between them and us we will hold your hand for as long us you need until you are ready to fly.
For now please try and not touch any more alcohol as that will only serve to deepen your depression and distress - if you feel desperate let the professionals know it is a crisis/emergency situation and you will get looked after much faster. Try for now to take a step back from any triggers and stressors. Most important. And try not to be alone.
I think most individuals when they have hit a very painful hard patch in life think SI as it tricks us into thinking it's an option for peace when in reality all it is is a permanent way out of a temporary problem that can be resolved. I have thought about it in the past myself but like you would never transfer that pain and grief to my loved ones.
Hang in there my friend as help is out there, hold onto hope as we walk this difficult road with you. You are not alone. Warm hugs ❤️🤗🌹xxx
