My Hospital Stay

[utopia]

@Former-Member. I don't blame my son for his feelings. I'm worried about him. I have spoken honestly with him always about my MI. And when I came home from hospital I appologised for me going off at him before and everything I did. I said I understand he may feel confused, angry or scared and that when/if he wanted to talk, even if it was to tell me off, that I would listen and be honest with him. And I told him that I loved him.
He's 14 - almost 15. A very tough time on its own without having a sick mum.
He is safe and comfortable at my mums. That's whats important.

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia I just trawled through your thread about your hospital stay in anticipation for my appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow. I'm really sorry that the nurses didn't talk much to you. It's a widespread issue that nurse to patient ratios aren't good enough and there's always pressure to cut staff down even more. The most common thing I hear when I do appraisals with my staff is that they wish they had more time in the day to talk to the patients. Thank you for taking the time to offer support and advice to me when you are going through such a difficult time of your own. That is very kind and selfless of you. How are you doing out of hospital now? Did you find the group sessions helped or was it more about just having a break from life in a safe place and not having to think about anything but yourself and getting better? Thank you for sharing your experience xx

[utopia]

@Former-Member. Yes the nurses are so overworked. But when I really needed to talk - they found the time and listened and acknowledged my pain.
Other times I would talk with other patients. It'sa bit like bbeing on the Forum. Everyone has similar but different experiences. Everyone has some information that may benefit you regardless of their diagnosis. The patients are often the first to offer support, a hug, an ear. Their help is just as important in hospital as the professional staff.
Last year I was in a different hospital and I found their group programs at first to be full of psycho babble. But after a week of attending, I started to understand what they meant by "just sit with the thought" or " simply acknowledge the thought and let it go". I used to get so mad. Where the b..h.. is the thought meant to go? How do you sit with the thought. But slowly I got little light bulb moments in these groups - so I'd rush back to my room and write it down. What I thought of. What I could do about it. Etc. That was the start of my healing.
This hospital stay was not as long and I think I only attended 3 or 4 groups. Blah blah. Not making any sense again. But then one did giveme ideas. Is it worth my mental hhealth to keep fighting Workcover and my ex employer. So it's given me something to think about.
I can't recommend a hospital stay enough. It saved my life. I don't think I would be here now without those stays.
As you have read, it's not always easy. Some people want to leave after a few days. But if they do end up staying - I could see a change for the better in them.
My first stay - my psychiatrist said it has to be a minimum 10 day stay - to get any benefit from it & for him to assess me. I stayed I think 28 days.
This time was a struggle with Workcover to get adequate time. I would have liked more. But I'm still better than when I went in.
The first few days relax. No pressure. Sleep if you need to. The nurse will show you around the facility and it doesn't matter if you forget - because one of the other patients will help with orientating you.
There will be ups and downs and tears and aha moments. All of these are part of the journey. Talk to your nurse if you find you are struggling. Most nurses are so supportive.
I think you will find great benefit from a hospital stay.
I'm doing better. I got out of bed and went to a MH support group this morning and then an AA meeting tonight. My house is still a mess. But I am making small manageable changes. Everything else can wait.

[Former-Member]

Hi @utopia - hope you are doing well. Thanks for sharing your hospital experiences - I've never been hospitalised and to be honest the thought of it really terrifies me, I really need to be surrounded by my "stuff' and my pets and having control of what I do and when I do it. Unfortunately after what's happened to me in the workplace and other things in my life it's starting to look inevitable that I be hospitalised. My doctors keep telling me to consider it as my condition is deteriorating and I keep resisting. Like yourself it's the ongoing battle of employer / lawyers / workcover / VCAT - the toll on my health has been high and eventually something will happen and it won't be good. You've clarified a lot of stuff about being in hospital that's put my mind at ease and I'm really thankful for that. I'm glad you have got some benefit out of it and I hope you continue to make progress with your recovery. How did your GROW meeting go?

[Owlunar]

Hi Dugga

I have had my hospital stays in the past - for emotional reasons and physical reasons - there seemed to be so many in the past

Now I am not at all interested - I have had enough - and like you I am better off with all my stuff at home - and my cat - in fact - I am sure the cat is the most important thing I have around

Lately I have had my own problems to think about and don't really want to talk about - but I have considered that being in my own home is where I want to stay for the rest of my life -

Whatever we have had in our past leaves it's marks on our body and soul and heart - the body never forgets and it makes for painful times in our present - but yes - we do have consider everything

Dec

[utopia]

@Former-Member. I'm not in a good place at the moment. I feel worse than ever. Most likely because I didn't get a long enough stay in hospital. And then I've had to fight Centrdlink not to take me off Newstart (their threat) & fight Workcover to let me recommence my SKYPE appointments with my psychiatrist. Still not approved. So still no after hospital care. And this amount of stress is taking its toll on me.
Private hospital - you do have more say over your health and your day - than in some public hospitals. Patients are all Voluntary.
You may find it a struggle for the first few days. But stick with it. Don't leave early. Talk to the nurses when you are struggling. They are busy - but they will listen to you and they will acknowledge your feelings. That is a big help in itself. They help advise your psychiatrist - so he/she will know if you are needing help sleeping or calming down & you may only need those meds for a short time.
I think you will find it beneficial. Some hospitals let you bring in your own doona or blankets, others don't - due to infection risks. But take something soft in. A soft toy to snuggle or stroke - as you would your fur babies at home. I would sleep with my super soft dressing gown next to my face. I found that soothing at night. And I grabbed an extra pillow to snuggle with.
I've just taken a sleeper and two calmers. Already feeling their effects. My self care plan today is to sleep the day away. That way I feel safer.
I'm sorry you are having such high stressors, very similar to mine. I hope your situation is resolved in a better, farer, moral way than mine has been.
Sending hugs. ♥♥

[Faith-and-Hope]

Walking with you @utopia ..... 💜💕

Stay strong ... self-care ... take it in baby steps .....

😔🌷

[Sahara]

Sometimes it's ok to sleep the day away, @utopia, as long as you are taking safe levels of medication. I remember being in the same place as you are now, quite a few times. I would take the calming tablets and just lay down and let them do their job... it was a nice surrender and an escape. Sleep can be so beautiful. When you wake up, I hope you can put on some relaxing music or a nice, uplifting DVD. Or perhaps call a friend of the phone.

I am thinking of you. I hope you are able to get back into hospital, if that is where you would like to be.

I have never been hospitalized due to MI, but when I was at my worst, I kind of wish I had been. I would have been nice to be looked after and feel secure. I actually kept working right through the worst of my depression, which is amazing when I look back on it... I wonder why I felt the need to do that? I put so much pressure on myself.

Eventually, I fell in a heap and called in sick one day to work, and then just never went back there. They were pretty sympathetic, amazingly. I can't remember what b.s. I told them now, but I couldn't care less about the job by then, anyway. 

I went home to live with my parents for a while, but they were not too sympathetic- I was pressured into getting another job straight away, by them. So much for being cared for- I would have been better off going into hospital and being looked after by strangers!  

My parents thought "working hard" was the cure for every human ailment! That's probably why my sister became a workaholic and I just became rebellious. 

Sending you kind thoughts, @utopia.

[utopia]

Safe levels of medication taken. I don't normally use them, so a low dose does knock me out.
Finally getting tired now

[outlander]

hugs @utopia hope you get some rest and feel better