Coming to terms with reality

[Appleblossom]

@eudemonism

I had 6 good days and one useless day, so thats reasonably good. Its just the Royal Commission and feeling worried I have to get it all right but I am less panicked about it as it comes closer and I have a few people to work with me.

Re your post I think they are all reasonable things to think about and to talk about.

Its a delicate line to walk with being authentic about your feelings and being assertive and having people respect your wishes or over-react and storm off in a huff. Dont be too hard on yourself. Makes sense to me, no-one likes being used or lead astray.

My main problem now, is food bingeing but its also necessary for life, and as a mum, we also have to proved and enjoy food rather than make it a tedious weight watchers special.... another fine line.

I had a weird attitude to getting off drugs but it worked for me, and that was 35 years ago. I was working in a straight job in a high druggie area so I had to be strong, but also mainly focussed on the GOOD things and eventually squeezed out the rotten stuff. With slips here and there.  On Saturday I went to a concert with a man friend, he is very gay, and a bit of a drinker, and I noticed that thing that they want to draw you in for company and collusion.  I am old and tougher now and can be social and in a party mood with or without a drink.  I never put down the other person, just stick to my one token wine, but then I have not had to deal with a lot of drunkenness.

I am glad you got out with your dog.  I spent a lot of times on beaches when I was young.

@Adek Thanks for sharing about your meds battle. Being a biologist you woud have knowledge enough. I am glad you stood up for other patients.  I have too, tho I have not been inpatient just a visitor, but I notice and I might stand close to someone "at risk" and stick my nose in without saying anything to let workers know they are being watched or befriend the person.  I too, am accepting some meds are better than toughing it out feeling very very bad, but I was also angry, because I struggled to live life without them and had been in the world of licit and illicit.  It also annoyed me that people in the mh field would push the drugs/meds like a magic pill when I had seen very unpretty side effects.

Its about individual needs and circumstances.

@Vanessa5 Wow I looked him up, I tend to be a bit scientific about dabblings in mysticism, but I have always loved Jung. Often too broke to be New Agey. It can keep one honest being broke, not always a bad thing,

Roisicrucian ... the Rosy Cross ... food for thought found in odd places.

Cheers all

@Former-Member I often talk about daily stuff, like what I am cooking or putting a load of wash on.

Not a cleen freek, play in the dirt, but only like to grow good germs. 

Drizzle lots honey and cinnamon over pears and leave to ferment.

@Shaz51

[A2Z]

Hi all 🙂

@eudemonism @Former-Member @Adek @Appleblossom @Shaz51 

I was reading through the posts 'Coming to tems with reality' I started reading as I got curious. They say curiosity kills. I even do not like the sytems and many of the systems and what they are becoming. Yet, the reality I have to work within those systems to keep myself sane - as the forum is named 'Saneforum'' I do like the title 'lived expereinces forum' - this a reality. 

@eudemonismyour posts have given me some new insight in to the mental health world. I am glad I came across your post. I am rather new to this forum. I find navigating through it rather challenging in turn gives me practice my patience.

I wish there was a way I could repley to a previous post rather than at the very end. I can't remember all I read so I have to respond in a general manner.

@Adekin one your post how you compared the terms were intersting. I will have to go and check again, I must remind my self.

@Former-MemberI hope you have heard from your son and he is keeping well. I have 2 kids.

I just want to let you guys know that I was fascinated and wish you all the best. You are doing great taking into consideration the challenges you are tackling each day. 

I hope to be back here soon, Take care 🙂

[Shaz51]

About  your post @eudemonism , I think they are all reasonable things to think about and to talk about as i did not reply yesterday as I was thinking about what you had written down

I found it very interesting @eudemonism and I find it hard to write down what i am thinking

Part of me was saying "WHY " all these things happen to me in the past 53 years and the other part of me was yelling back at me saying " WHY NOT ME ""

Hello @eudemonism @mohill @Adek @Appleblossom  @A2Z

[Former-Member]

Hello everyone 

I have not slept well for quite a few days and have pushed myself too hard

I struggled with people feeling agitated and irritable..easily wound up

last night wide awake with anxiety 

Today I have been busy but felt emotional ..so many little things went wrong..the sun will rise again...I noticed how hard I was on myself..I had very high expectations 

bottom line ...I am so good at dishing out advice to others yet don't even notice the signs of things being too much for myself

I understand the basis of ups and downs with trying so hard to improve life for myself and those important to me

yet I am still disappointed with myself

I want to be further down the road of recovery..again high expectations 

do you think this might happen with you? A feeling of failure because something goes wrong? Expecting everything to run smoothly because I am working so hard at being better..leading a better quality of life? Is this how you feel?

I understand your frustration @eudemonism 

self-medicating to help erase these feelings...feed negative thoughts

sadly alcohol..drugs do more damage ..perhaps provide escape briefly..

you talk about this openly and want to get out of the cycle..this is a good thing..

we must keep on believing in ourselves.. We are not just our diagnosis...we are human beings who want to have a quality of life..

we are here talking..working on this principle

[Appleblossom]

Hello @A2Z

Glad you thought it worth reading.

I loved the thread title by @eudemonism because it is a process and necessary one for us all.

Yes @Former-Member I had one of those days on Monday, and the self whipping was on again, but I managed not to get too hooked up on negative self talk. The next 2 days were better.

I find it hard to recognise inner stuff and "name the game" or even "name the frame", but getting there.

I had an interesting talk to a friend today.  Learning about friendship late in life, but always interested. Just took a while to peel back enough layers to be able to be known by another person and be active in the "knowing" of each other.

[eudemonism]

Hi all! I hope everyone is okay and doing well! Despite the inevitable ups and downs of life we must endure. I think it's great that everyone is openly writing. (About whatever it may be )<br><br>@mohill @Appleblossom @Adek @Vanessa5 @Shaz51 and @A2Z hello and welcome. <br><br>My childhood dream was to be a writer and musician. And I'd say I've given it a fair go and laid down a future foundation for me to walk on. And continue taking steps at achieving these things! In the last few days and weeks. I've started applying sone ideology and concepts and thinking styles, techniques and patterns to my everyday life. And I'm it's helping me get that little bit extra done for my psychical and psychological health. Plus! The temperature has risen a little bit in the last few days. And I'm feeling much more alive and positive and active for it. <br><br>Time and time again there is these little fears, doubts, insecurities, uncertainties, questions and unknown factors about life. Which is all in the future context. And is all in my mind. And involves what I'm thinking about doing for myself in the moment. (Acting on life giving urges ) whatever they maybe ) and it creates this mental (flight, fright, freeze or fight reactions in me ) which is where the problems begin ) so I've been standing back from this and applying techniques and attitudes toward it. That help me overcome and see through the process so i can achieve what i need and want to do... (really reflecting upon what my mind is doing ) and then counteracting it ) although some of it may be justified. None of it helps me face my fears ) or achieves what i want to do...)<br><br>All in all things aren't to bad. But i do indeed struggle with some stuff... and it's usually always caused bye my own mentality. <br><br>I've got some stuff I'm wanting to achieve. Like, washing the dog. A collar with my and his name on it and number. A new water bottle. Take the jacket to get fixed bye a seamstress. Manage my diet through portion control. Start smoking outside and cut down. Keep alcohol and drug use to a minimum. Keep writing and doing art (legacy ) get microwave, fry pan, chest of drawers, kitchen table and chairs, second tv and computer, new lounge, go for morning and afternoon walks, maintain relationships with people in my life (whomever they maybe ) drink herbal tea as a health benefit ) meditate, prayer and be mindful often. Read... play and record my drums, take and store photos, get oils and oil burner and scented candles. Build a shelter in the backyard. New walking shoes. Give myself a regular haircut. Use food for healing. Get my circadian rhythm working well. Keep on top of my house work and gardening. Cleaning, tidying, organising, washing, hygiene, and there is lots of variations from these things. And differences that stem from them. (My go too list!) Self care. And the list goes on...<br><br>I'm sorry for being self centered and selfish. <br>

[Adek]

Good for you @eudemonism. Those had been in my long term list (5 yrs projection) since i started CBT with my physiotherapist 2012. And God willing...we managed to get them all accomplished by now ...only one last bit.. hopefully.. will be carried out by Jan next year. I am so grateful..this has helped me a lot into reaching equilibrium so far...

Nonetheless..my short term lists (monthly and daily) continues on..laid out in one big piece of monthly planner which i place right infront of my medidating spot...highlighted in colourful clouds of yellow, pink, orange and green according to their categories. I love doing this since am not talented in drawing like the rest of our members here 😅.

Last night was a double bonanza here in our country when the closing ceremony of our victorious SEA games and 60th anniversary of National Independence Day took place. Tomorrow will be another big day...a Holy day..also a double bonanza and i am sending all of you this high spirit of victory, independence, love and gratitude wherever you are, hoping you will be blessed and guided till the end of time..,,,

Hugs... @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Vanessa5 @A2Z @Former-Member @soul @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope...😘😍

[Former-Member]

hello @Appleblossom

I had an interesting talk to a friend today.  Learning about friendship late in life, but always interested. Just took a while to peel back enough layers to be able to be known by another person and be active in the "knowing" of each other.

Lovely to hear that you are learning more about friendship

Peeling back layers....feeling safe with another.....building trust....opnly needing to share parts of yourself...nothing that makes you vulnerable

friendship has nothing to do with age....listening and learning....

[Former-Member]

hello @eudemonism @Adek @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @A2Z

I just spent ages writing an epic response to you all

is now in cyberspace somewhere ...zooming about with the rest of my computer oopsies

will get back to you all later

have to get off this dreaded machine

take care all

[Former-Member]

hello @Adek

just read your post

how beautiful....such a spiritual gift

I love the fact that you are so proud of the anniversary of independence for your country

very exciting times and to be able to be a part of the celebrations...very heartwarming

thank you for your compassion