Coming to terms with reality

[eudemonism]

What you say about men and women being born with both characteristics of men and woman is rather interesting @Vanessa5 i might put some thought into that at some stage today. That posts message only sunk in on the second time of reading it.

[eudemonism]

And @A2Z waking up and being enthusiastic, motivated and goal driven. Is difficult for alot of people. I sometimes compare it against the flow of traffic some days. And think. Alot of people must be sleeping in today. I think a bit of sleeping in and a few early mornings are good.

For me it's a case of. Housework needs to be done. Ie. Making bed. Sweeping floors. Dishes. Etc. And stuff like wanting to be out and about when the sun rises. Taking photos. Walking the dog. Being with nature. And i also know. That its a good sign and better for my all round health to be active as much as possible. The big part of waking up for me is getting the ball rolling and getting the chemicals flowing. Before medication. I would sleep from 2am to 11 am no problem.

[eudemonism]

We all need something to pray for. Meditate on and be mindful about @Adek I've found inner qualities and stuff I'm in control of is a great place to start. And then i build on them from there. Sort of laying a foundation type of thing.

[eudemonism]

Im thinking. If im ever going to get sober. Or at least have my alcohol and drug problem under control. And be in a position to quit smoking cigarettes. Im gonna have to make changes in my mental attitude. And be making different decisions. (There is also the possibility of being medication free)

And it would be so i can be healthier, happier, more content. And be better equipped to take on each day. And improve the quality of my life. And prognosis of my future.

From this position right now. Im basically being a hypocrite. (If i was to say im not drinking or doing drugs anymore.) But i will tell it how i see it from my prospective alcoholics and addicts are bad influences for people who seek sobriety and to stay clean and to help themselves!

Im coming from a background that has self perceived and actual social problems. (Relationship poor!) And it left my vulnerable to becoming associates with alcoholics, drug users. And people in similar positions. Gov housing. Medicated. (Mental health on issues) on the pension and so on. (Found myself round people like me ) Which dont really allow much room for a full recovery. Plus there is the other side of the story. Church. Mental illness social group. Mental health services. Professionals. (None of them support drug use (unless prescription! ) or tobacco use. Alcohol use (even though legal ) and then the illicit drugs. (But also lack in their substance of help and support which is provided ) So i suppose its a very personal journey which depends of factors such as. Social influences. Experiences. Knowledge. Insight. Personal abilities. Resilience. Will power. And so on. Plus. Having a good life to get on with and be in a social position that promotes a alcohol and drug free setting (illicit or legal )

Now here is a very important factor! Quality of life and quality relationships that are available!

I personally don't like alcohol or drugs! Or how they make me feel. But because i got nothing else to do. And no relationships that don't implicate me in these things. It's pretty hard to escape.

If im not for it. I must be against it. And im against it for the benefit of myself. But then comes the fear of trying to help himself syndrome. And not having anything else in life to get on with. So i become the ugly duckling type of thing.

Please give me feedback. Does it make sense?

[eudemonism]

I sustained an injury. (A double displaced break in my right forearm ) the middle of my right forearm was at a 90 degree angle ) very serious ) and it was in a sports day running race the 400 metre run around the oval. And the injury left my mentally, psychically, emotionally and spiritually damaged for life. It ended up slightly deformed and weaker than if i hadn't broken it. I never wanted to be in that running race. And asked my mum if i could stay home that day. And there was no real option of sitting the race out and not competing. And the injury alone and the long term problems it has caused me. Is reason enough to call myself disabled!

The mental and emotional scars and repercussions i suffered from sustaining this injury on a level of 1 too 10 i would say is a 8.5 and it is still with me today. On every walk i go on. With every thought about getting myself a job. Seeking an intimate relationship. And also the psychical damage of having my preferred, favored and naturally stronger arm. Permanently damaged. It has spread throughout my entire mind, body and emotional make up.

It's heartbreaking for me to think about!

I would of been 8 or 9 years old.

I was tripped up or something like that.

And bam! Damaged for life!

As if life wasn't hard enough already!

[Former-Member]

hello @eudemonism

I think that you have put forward some very relevant ideals of how the drug/alcohol cycle works...attracts potential candidates..self medication in some cases leading to addiction...worst case scenario ...fatality

I can only speak about my own experience with alcohol....alcohol and I are not friends...it affects me very swiftly and I only drink wine.

I learnt that the first drink might provide that kick...buzz but thereafter for me is downhill. In fact after I feel worse. Alcohol is a depressant.

How we perceive ourselves....our self esteem.... confidence are also part of the equation

escapism from our world of struggling

we have to dig very deep some days to find that will power inside of us ....the will to be true to ourselves...to ignore the negative programmed thinking....negative voices in our heads..even the trickery that alcohol/drugs induce

your words:

"If im not for it. I must be against it. And im against it for the benefit of myself. But then comes the fear of trying to help himself syndrome. And not having anything else in life to get on with. So i become the ugly duckling type of thing.

Please give me feedback. Does it make sense?"

Yes you are against it for the benefit of yourself.

The fear of facing the temptation would be working very hard to get you to succumb......you know this already....you are writing about this...you have done the hard part of feeling this and working this out

you have so much in life to get on with.....you have yourself...your ongoing discovery of the true eudemonism....your family....even your pesky, cheeky dog    and you now have us.....coming to terms with reality followers....believers

be true to yourself and be gentle with yourself....

[Former-Member]

@eudemonism

that would have been an excrutiatingly painful experience and to happen at such a young age.....a very difficult experience for you

I personally believe that not having full use of an arm or a leg should not be classed as disabled. In fact I hate that term. It smacks of giving up before even starting.

Have you ever watched the para olympics? fascinating and inspiring

you might find some information on this site ......under carers or lived experience....there are different sub headings and there is an information section

let me know how you get on when you do a search

[eudemonism]

My arm aint totally stuffed @Former-Member but theres definitely some ongoing problems there.

Yea im looking beyond the things that are said and done when it comes to alcohol and drugs. And its something to be wary of.

[Appleblossom]

Ahhhh @Former-Member all that pruning!  Your good intentions come through your posting loud and clear... for me at least, so dont worry too much about being misunderstood.

@eudemonism Music and Writing are my strongest interests too.

@A2Z Sorry your day was so hard, but I am glad you found some value in our forum.  Keep posting here and in other threads.

@Adek I love the sound of your country. You have a quiet pride in it.  Is it rude to ask you in which SAE country you live?

@Vanessa5 Jung can be taken from in  so many ways.  That is the richness of his philosophy.

I believe integration of animus and anima, or our shadow side is fundamental to being human and growing in self awareness and maturity in society.  I have never thought about it in terms of male violence before.  Isnt it amazing how we can come to the same understanding through different routes?

I am flat out at the moment.  Been at zoo and had disastrous luncheon at home, but at least authenticity ruled.  Wont be able to post a lot, barely keeping up reading my notifications.  So please do not take personally any non reply or if I seem brisk.

The business will be ongoing as I have 2 big concerts of different repertoire in a week and then going away for a weekend.

This thread has given me lots of food for thought and optimism about the purpose of the forum.

Thanks All.

[eudemonism]

@Appleblossom im really annoyed and frustrated at what the mental health and health system has done too me. Is doing too me. And going too be doing too me. And its the incompetence on an interpersonal basis that im faced with on a reoccurring basis whenever i reach out to the system for help.

And their final weapon they use against me. Is a shot of pharmaceutical drugs in my arm each month. That really dont make life any better or easier. And in actual fact! Causes me more problems then its worth. Its a judicial system of the mind. Against people who been screwed over in life. And are unhappy. And have no other sources of support and help.