I will...

[Appleblossom]

I have to hand it to both you ladies. @Former-Member@Zoe7

 I have never worked fulltime as a school teacher. 

The women around me who seemed to manage were part-timeers and so I adjusted my expectation from fulltime public servant to part-time piano teacher.  I had a good situation where I had a higher hourly rate no travel and very little prep work.  From 30s on I was far too disabled with neck to cope with a school setting.

I believe the fulltime teaching model developed for professionals who had stay at home wife and mothers caring for their children or devoted single women.

Some women seem to be able to have it all but there are usually have social resources and many hidden compromises.

@Former-Member It has been 2 years now and you have come through huge things managing the separation, court cases and children.  Exhaustion is natural with the level of work and the constancy of motherhood.

I am blabbing on trying to put your situation in perspective. Not that you dont already know.

Some teachers find a range of alternatives tutoring ...... even at the zoo there is a growing LE Learning Experieces team and they hire a lot of CRTs.... @Zoe7 probably knows other opportunities.

Dont collapse into all or nothing thinking ... @Former-Member You have taken on a massive task and all kudos to you for your successes. 

You dont have to do it all ... all the time .. maybe chunk and trim a bit ... rather than silly stuff .. like you dont matter ... because whether you can take it in or not .. you do matter

When I left and I realised I had nobody to rely on for anything, I tried not to overstretch myself so that I could keep up with the unexpected things that always pop up when human beings are involved.

Long term planning ... big picture steady ... objective clear ... now I am quoting from our cantata ...

music to keep our spirits up.

I need to go to bed, but love you girls. NIght.

Apple

[Former-Member]

Thank you both, both very steady and clearer thinking on it all. thank you, now working on hearing it all deeper 🙂
hugs, heading off to try and sleep,
take care

[Zoe7]

Inspiring words @Appleblossom  

...and ditto to everything you have just said 

@Former-Member I totally agree with Apple that YOU MATTER. You matter to your kids, the children you teach, to so many here on the forum and especially to me - you really matter to me - and for so many of the reasons that Apple has just stated but also because of the support you have shown me along my 'journey' here. You do not realise how much you have helped when you have 'popped in' to say you are reading, you are listening and you are 'hearing' - so many people don't actual 'hear' what is really happening - they just respond because they think they should - and there is a huge difference!

Goodnight Apple - so thrilled to have you back and always love reading your words 

[Zoe7]

Posting the same time as you @Former-Member 

Goodnight lj - hope you can sleep 

Let me know how you are tomorrow if you are up to it - just a quick check in will do. I will be thinking of you (whether you like it or not lol).

Take care 

Zoe

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member goodmorning lj 

...quickly stopping by to drop in a little present to hopefully brighten up your day a little 

[Appleblossom]

I was going to say exactly what @Zoe7 said re .."my fault"

Taking or owning responsibility is actually so much more open and creative and flexible than

"my fault"

Models of working .... is in constant flux ... always changing

I know how much prep goes into doing renovations and how much behind scenes into running a company.

Now you have established role and education and parenthood @Former-Member... you do have some agency in making long term decisions that suit your circumstances.

I prefer the "agency" word ... to either fault or responsibility

BTW Did you see the Indian lady who married and had bridal pics without jewellery or makeup as an empowering and ground breaking social statement ... why didn't I think of that!!

Such a conformist ...  I wore lippy .. but did other things different!

[Former-Member]

ok..
I Will get book week costumes organised tonight... gah! and do my other work gah!

[Appleblossom]

Bloomin book week costumes. 

Hope the parents arent too competitive trying to out do each other on how creative they can make the kids look.

People often hate or love those days.

@Former-Member You were the first person to "listen" when I needed someone to hear.

Thanks.

Its not just reciprocal back patting. Its the whole deal of who we are.

"I will ...." is powerful and can be a very quiet and steady like the little train up the hill. 

It also opens up all the possibilities of the different things you will do.

[Former-Member]

hehe its not the parents im worried about being competitive @Appleblossom its the teachers lol! i think i have some piratey costumes ready...

Thank you for hearing the meaning in the I will 🙂 you are a very deep listener and i've often been incredibly greatful for it and your words, though im often not great at replying to the things said to/about me!

[Vanessa5]

Hi @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @Zoe7, @CheerBear, @patrickT

I will....Take it one day at a time.

Exercise, eat right and set myself achievable goals to give my life with MI purpose and meaning.