What is modern living all about? What is its effect?

[Whiteknight]

Let's look at life 400 years ago pre - trains, planes, large ships and cars. In fact horses, camels and donkeys were human transport for as long as we know. Also being pre the industrial age there were no mechanical machines to speak of. Catapults for weapons maybe but nothing complex or on a large scale that meant huge advancement.

So for hundreds of thousands of years we were hunter gatherers. This way of life meant we relied on a tight often small community and to survive we bartered with assets like vegetables, labour and our herds. This survival type community also demanded resolution more with conflict or...you might not get that chook for dinner as the other guy had the chooks!. Your survival also demanded your own abilities like you might be a master builder or leather worker that others admired...it was your meal ticket.

The most amazing thing I want to share with your good people is that time factor. Think about it, since time began generation after generation we basically remained primitive in so many ways, then within 200 years it only began to change with the industrial are, then the last 100-130 years it all changed. Imagine if we looked at human existence as being over a one year period, on January 1st we began to develop abilities or creativity and tool making to December 31st at 10pm at night, two hours short of the new year we find advancement in transport, space exploration and the modern era.

So in a matter of less than 5 generations were are thrusted into the modern world and like everything in life, there are positives and negatives. But within 5 generation some of us have adapted and thrive on modern technology and some haven't. Some have suffered the "20th century syndrome"...anything modern has an adverse effect on them, like concrete, telephones, plastic packaging and airplane travel.

However some of us have also not adapted from the "hunter gatherer" to the modern way. The modern way is barely knowing your neighbour...why? there is no reliance on our neighbour. Our neighbour no longer can provide us with anything that we need. To get our needs met we work in an industry, earn money and the money pays for everything. We no longer barter for food and services, we don't join together as a community anymore. This detachment isolates us. Some don't mind that and focus on their family members spread out all over, others feel there is  something missing in life...connectivity, which is what we had for thousands of years- now gone.

What is the result of this?  Well I feel it means our good deeds are missed or not recognised. In the old days you'd get a reputation of being a good person that is kind and generous, that others know they can rely on for a little help in bad times. An extra few vegies today and repay that person next week with that chicken! Not now.

If you are struggling with modern life like I have been there is really only one direction you can opt for to relieve that stress and regroup- withdrawal. Withdrawing from society has its problems and you don't want to create problems as you try to eliminate another. It has to be done for yourself, there is no magic formula as our needs and lack of coping is unique to us all. But I can give you some ideas as to what I've done for myself and its worked.

• Create my own solitude, my own world of peaceful interest. For me that meant my beloved shed environment. In my shed I can have relaxing music of my choice depending on my mood. I can build things like a clothes line for us that can be lowered for my short wife or raised for me. I can tinker, I can sit and relax. I'm detached from the rest of the world in there.
• Simplified our finances. Modern banking has options like direct debit that takes the worry out of paying bills. Apart from our Telco who seemed to mess up our bill all the time we do direct debit.
• A reliable car. Economical.
• Limited contact with other people. with my anxiety I'd often think "I better ring her as she'll think I'm avoiding her" not now. I will not contact another person unless I really want to and I've also dropped expectations from others. Expectations add to stress.
• Community work, I do what I can in order to feel satisfied that I'm trying to help out. That level of help depends on the person and their own coping abilities with their illnesses and commitments. Not feeling guilty is the key. Don't put up with people putting pressure on you to give more. That's your decision not theirs.
• Country life. It provides you with a taste of life back 300 years ago where people have stalls/markets, help each other out etc. To find the right town think- a population of less than 500 people but within 15 minutes of all other services like hospital and supermarkets. If you are approaching retirement age don't buy more than 5 acres of land or it is classified as an asset and an age pension can be affected. So research well.
• Relaxation. Apart from the exercises we use our caravan and vintage car. We go away every 8 weeks or so weather depending. This change of environment provide a spark. Most fellow vanners are friendly. The chatterbox annoys me but that comes with an interesting car I suppose.
• A pet.

So don't be unhappy with modern life, make changes to allow you to tolerate it. And isolation isn't all bad nor abnormal...modern life hasn't been around for long. Take out of modern society what you need and survive better in a better ...personal world. It sounds primitive...it is...just what some of us need.

[jay2]

Me too, my way of life also.

[BlueBay]

Hi @Whiteknight i always love reading your posts. I can relate to this post. 

St the moment we are struggling snd I have a feeling we’ve talked about this before. I think deep diwn I know we have to do something to release this huge overwhelming stress I have snd my hubby too. 

In the near future my boys are moving out. So that’s a good time to down size. Snd I really don’t care what type of house/unit we buy as long as it’s liveable. The area well that’s the problem. We both love the beach but I guess if we csnt stsy in this area then we have no choice. We really would like to be mortgage free but even if we a little loan that would ease the stress. 

I’ll be back to type more soon 

dinner is ready to eat. 

[BlueBay]

Hey @Whiteknight sorry I didn’t get back last night. 

Now I have to remember whst I was saying memory nit great !!

Go back to basics - yes I try to go that a lot with cooking. We don’t do take away like we used to because of my intolerance issues. I was getting sick all the time. Even going out to eat was causing problems. So now I prefer to cook st home so I know what’s in it. And save money snd taste nice. Most weekends we will have a coffee down the local cafe but that’s it. We both don’t smoke or drink. We figure that’s our luxury. 

Pets - yep I agree pets keep us happy and active (when motivated!!)   And they really know when we’re down. 

Going away - I love going away snd seeing different but unfortunately we csnt at the moment because of money. My dream was always yo have a caravan and drive around parts of Aust but again too expensive to buy a caravan and go away. 

I think you do need to get away every so often to reconnect with your other half and just have a break from everyday stresses even if it’s onlt for a weekend. It recharges you snd you feel good afterwards. We haven’t been able to do that fir a long time. It’s very difficult when you’re living pay to pay. Stressful. 

(*where I say you I mean I as in me)

@Whiteknight hope this all makes sense.