TW: Family court, abusive relationship, suicide attempt
Hello everyone 😁 and thank you @Shaz51 for the invitation to introduce ourselves!
I'm very much a mixed bag, it's hard to know where to start! I have such a plethora of lived experiences, some good but mostly bad.
Ok so, I was first diagnosed with depression at the age of 11. Since then I've been diagnosed, or misdiagnosed I should say, with BPD, Bi-Polar 2, dysphoria (a modern term for hysteria imo) and drug addiction - I use the term drug addiction rather than substance abuse because that's all I've ever been called, a drug addict 😒
It wasn't until last year when I survived suicide, that I stood up for myself and pushed for a proper diagnosis because i was sick of feeling like I did. Subsequently, I now live with a diagnosis of ADHD, C-PTSD and PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric (haha ironic) disorder). I hate the label PMDD though and the use of the word disorder too! Women cop so much criticism for the hormonal fluctuations we can't control!
It took 23 years to get that diagnosis, so I've lived more than half of my life misdiagnosed. I can't find the words to describe the iatrogenic effects, mistrust and damage caused by that. And if i did, i'd probably get banned from the forums haha
5 years ago, I unfortunately had to go through the family court system to try and gain access to my child after leaving an abusive relationship with the child's father-all he could use on me was mental health and drug use. I've never been through anything quite as traumatic, discriminative and full of stigma in my entire life and that's a pretty big statement coming from a retired sex worker, an industry full of stigma and discrimination. That is inevitably what led me to trying to take my life, after being bullied and legally coerced into signing consent orders I did not agree to, it completely broke me and any trust I had in seeking treatment and support from any kind of professional.
Every inch of my medical records and psychological records were subpoenaed and weaponised against me -something that has happened again this very week. I'm much stronger and much more educated now though and know I can keep my head above water this time!
Because of the injustices I've faced in my lifetime, I've dedicated my life to peer support and advocacy and hope that one day, I can use my lived experiences of the family courts and mental health, to change the system for the better and to get peer support more readily available in the court systems!
