Hi to anyone who might be reading. Just wanted to come by to say hi and to check in 👋
Today I was discharged from the time out place I've been staying at. I'm full of feels but so incredibly thankful that I was able to be there. There was so much about it that was great - group work, information on anything and everything, new skills, tools and resources, remembering and practicing ones I use have and use, encouragement to get back into routine, plenty of fun distractions (I made SO much mess baking sweet things in the kitchen and playing with different arty crafty stuff), learning with and from others there, and very helpful one-on-one support from staff. I ate dinner every night, tried new and interesting foods, have cut caffeine right back, worked through the side effects of a med that maybe will help with sleep and anxiety a little (I am sleeping in past 5 more often than not - woohoo!), and generally learned heaps more about myself and how I work and not. All of it will help with a head that was seriously messy by the time I went in, and may (will probably) be messy at times for a while to come.
But the other residents that were there made the experience so much more than a head help break. I was very lucky to be with the people I was. We formed a really close group and have plans to keep that going on the outside. In person I have huge walls up because I'm so scared of having to leave people again that I don't want to let people in. The people I was with saw straight through the walls and helped me take them down, and it felt scary but so SO good. There were so many moments of laughing (the kind that hurts your belly and ribs and cheeks), hugs, tears, silliness, real deep and meaningful conversations, appreciating differences and similarities and just being ourselves. It was the best soul and heart medicine and it added heaps to what I gained from my time away. I truly find it amazing how much struggle there is in the world but how resilient humans really are. That we can keep getting up despite experiencing so many reasons to give up, inspires me. It feels like hope and it rocks ☺
So I'm out now and not far off being with my little crew again, feeling like my tank has been filled, like I'm much more able to breathe and like I am ready to do this again. I don't expect it to be smooth sailing at all, but I know there will always be support out there somewhere and a whole heap of ways to try to unstick stuckness if and when it happens. I really scared myself just before I went in, but it has helped me see where that scary point is and what I can and will do to get through it.
I'm hoping everyone on the forum is going OK enough. I've missed everyone and am looking forward to catching up after I enjoy some quality time with a few littler people who have been sad over the past weeks but who will be better off for this in the longer term too.
Thanks to anyone who read that novel 😉🤗
🦄🌈💗
