Riding a wave

[CheerBear]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising. This is a bit of a not-post while I am riding out my big giant feelings, remembering that something will change. Thank you for your very helpful reply to my messy post this morning.

I can understand how and why you might be feeling a mix of feelings today following your exciting adventure yesterday. It kind of reminds me of another adventure you had recently (maybe the changing the world ferry ride adventure day?) where it was positive and important, but tiring the day after. Even the good adventures can be tricky to manage. I'm so hopeful that this one will be really worth it for you, as it sounds like you feel it will be.

Thinking of you, while I take myself to my lounge room floor to lie in some random postion I find on a yoga site for a while.

[Appleblossom]

Geez you guyz are a riot. @Former-Member @Phoenix_Rising @Zoe7

Not ROFL as that is more energy than I have, but love @CheerBear random yoga position.

Thanks for lifting my mood.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Good night Forum Land. I was out at my once-a-month change-the-world adventure this evening. That was the only productive thing I did all day. Somehow I totally crashed today. @CheerBear I think you are right that it was the big wave of positive emotion that wiped me out. I think I'm going to start a thread about this - i.e. whether other people, especially those with BPD find regulating positive emotions just as tricky as regulating negative emotions.

@Appleblossom I love that you found the banter out here on the ocean so amusing today.

I am so super sleepy. I didn't even get to be a happy baby mountain today. Oh well, I can try again tomorrow. Tomorrow is only a little way away - good thing I don't live on Venus.

Good night @Former-Member. Tomorrow's the day you are taking Mr Polar Bear into the SANE office isn't it? I'm sure nobody will notice.

[Former-Member]

Goodnight @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

Yes, I will be taking our friend Mr. Polar Bear into work tomorrow. I will try my hardest to conceal him, but it will be quite the challenge to hide him given his rather sizable polar bear build! 😛 I wonder what @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, and @NikNik will think of him!? I'm sure he will make great friends with them all - he and the person who obtained him ("cough cough") are pretty awesome after all! 

The Little Mermaid will be watching over the ocean tonight for the little turtle!  

[Former-Member]

It's ok @Former-Member as long as he is happy to hold my coat until the end of the day, I'm sure he will be welcome.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member ROFL. I have been eagerly waiting to hear how Mr Polar Bear was received in the office today. I'm glad he was well-received. I super hope @Former-Member had done a good job of toilet training him before she took him to the office.

Night @Former-Member. Thank you for watching over the ocean.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hey @Former-Member, Can I please have a tiny turtle hug to tide me over the weekend? I am still super struggling with the fear-of-abandonment feelings. It's like my brain oscillates between huge relief that I found M and total terror that M will disappear. It's super hard right now. Lunar can I tell you something? You know how my muddle with Fred was a giant muddle? Yeah, well even so, I super miss him. I super miss the constancy and stability. He told me so many times that he was the only one who would stay, and thus far he has been right. I am so very very glad that I found M...and yet I am so very very scared of losing her again.

Good night Forum Land.

[Former-Member]

Tiny turtle hug for you @Phoenix_Rising try not to worry about that for now okay, just try to be present with the support you have at this point, I look forward to goat yoga next week 🙂 rest up little turtle

[Vanessa5]

Hey @Phoenix_Rising,

I am knew to the forum but can relate to having a huge amount of ideas and the brain not co-operating to let you get through any of them.

I too am ruminating about the way the mental health system is. We are told to reach out for support, but you usually get told to sign up for this support and that support with a waiting period of like 6 months. I wish there was just one network where everything linked up so people didn't fall through the cracks and could be tracked better towards 'recovery'. At the moment I feel like there is a whole heap of people attempting to provide services in a number of locations but not talking to one another. How much money is being lost without it being mandatory for some of these services to be linked up in some way? Whole heap of people and info and services are either being doubled up on or info is lost somehow in communication or lack of it.

The answer to your question 'Where do people go if they have presented at hospital asking for help and been turned away???' is back out on the street or home, if they have one that is. We would all like to see things change. I understand what your saying - you get criticized for not asking for help "soon enough" and then others criticize you for accessing services?

I understand your anxiousness. I made progress with a counsellor in a small town and then her hours were cut back so she had to relocate to Sydney. I stopped going to counselling then and eventually my condition worsened. The reason I stopped going was that i didn't want to start all over again explaining past trauma with a new counsellor. Now I am going to have to.

I find mindfulness activities are helpful with anxiety. There is a free app called 'smiling mind" you can download. I wasn't one for this sort of thing but I actually find it quite useful. Mindfulness can stop an anxiety attack as it is literally impossible to feel anxious when you are intently focused on something else and living in the moment.

I'm not sure what you mean by a tiny turtle hug...but I can give you panda hugs instead. Panda's and owls are kind of my fav animals. At the moment anyway.

Thanks @Vanessa5

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member There is a giant storm on the ocean. I am curled up in my car because I know I can't drive until the storm passes. It super super super super hurts right now. I super want to die but I know I need to ride the wave. It super hurts.