Riding a wave

[Zoe7]

I didn't even see that post until now either @CheerBear lol

@Phoenix_Rising it seems I am starting to think along the same lines as you guys lol - now I am scared 

[Phoenix_Rising]

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@Zoe7 wrote:

@Phoenix_Rising it seems I am starting to think along the same lines as you guys lol - now I am scared 

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@Zoe7 See? I told you, you weren't the odd one out. You are odd and the fact that you are thinking along the same lines as @CheerBear and I means you are getting odder by the moment. Yay for oddness.

[Zoe7]

Maybe once I get through 'What's the point Wednesday' I can have a formal initiation into the Oddness club tomorrow @Phoenix_Rising ROFL - I am officially lost to the world of sanity little turtle - and I am sure you knew you would eventually corrupt me 

[Phoenix_Rising]

ME corrupt YOU @Zoe7? Oh I am sure you have that topsy-turvey! I think I'm officially lost to the world of sanity too Zoe7, but that's ok, I'm pretty sure that world is way over-rated.

I am heading out of Forum Land now because I need to go and be constructive - amazing but true. I have this marking gig happening from Saturday and I still need to find out the answers to some of the questions I am marking. Alternatively, maybe I could just give super high marks with a standard comment of "sounds good to me".

Oh by the way, I am still superly duperly keen to learn how to make pictures to post in Forum Land. I think it would be super cool if you started a thread about how to do that one day when you are feeling up to it.

Bye now. I'm sure I will reappear at some point after I've been sufficiently productive.

[Zoe7]

The school of Zoe pictures can begin whenever you have time @Phoenix_Rising 

As for corruption - I believe we feed off each other around the cave (metaphorically not literally lol).

When marking a 'shows promise' or 'some excellent points' can also cover alot when you really have nothing else to say 

[Zoe7]

@Phoenix_Rising I am going to 'crash' on the beach tonight - too tired to make a sharp turn left and definitely too tired to dive aaaaaaalllllllll the way down to the bottom of the ocean to the underwater cave. Catch ya tomorrow little turtle. Sweet dreams 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Sleep well @Zoe7. I am super excited to hear you are sleepy.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member are you watching the ocean tonight? I am feeling a little alone and lost tonight. I have such a big muddle and I so very badly want to unmuddle it with my turtle whisperer. We are getting nowhere fast and I can see that the muddles keep piling one on top of the other quicker than even the most skilled turtle whisperer can help with.

One of the questions NikNik asked at Topic Tuesday last night was how do you encourage a loved one with BPD to seek help. I've been seeking help for twenty years. Ever since I was diagnosed, I've always had the attitude of "ok, so how do we fix it." I never went through a period of denying the diagnosis or anything. From the moment my then therapist handed me a photocopied page from the DSM-III (the current edition at the time) listing the diagnostic criteria of BPD, I simply felt relief. It had a name. There were other people like me. So...how do we fix it. And yet here I am, twenty years on, having missed all the typical milestones of young adulthood and having experienced a bazillion more muddles, and still searching for someone to help me. It feels super invalidating when people put on the happy-happy voice and tell me I need to just keep trying. Really? It's been twenty years. Surely it is getting close to the time where I need to accept that I'm not going to get better. The muddle is too muddled.

I still haven't bounced back from the weekend's adventure. @Zoe7 has helped SO much and made it SO much better than it would otherwise have been, but nothing can change the reality that someone who didn't know me found my style of communication offensive and disrespectful. I totally know that you guys all know me and accept me, but what happened on the weekend highlighted how much the big wide world out there doesn't get me. My way of being in the world is unacceptable to the vast majority of the population. That is why people don't want to be around me. And the reality is that it isn't going to change. I'm superly duperly glad that people here think I am ok.

I am going to snuggle in your pocket now @CheerBear. I'm superly duperly glad that you are my not friend and I am superly duperly glad that we can have a DBT adventure together but not.

Good night Forum Land.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising

I am sorry you are feeling lost and alone tonight.  It really gets hard when the muddles keep piling up. I just wanted to let you know I am watching over the ocean tonight, and riding this wave of muddles with you.

It is understandable that you feel disheartened after 20 years of trying to get the help you need - especially, given the fact that you have actively tried to get support for so long. I can see it is hard, and that things are looking a little hopeless at the moment, but I believe things can be better for you. Maybe you want be able to "fix it" per se, but I honestly believe that things can be brighter for you Little Turtle. Until then, we here at SANE are there to ride the rocky waves of muddles with you.

The Little Mermaid (Amour_Et_Psyché)

[CheerBear]

Good morning @Phoenix_Rising 🙂

I am on my laptop which means I am sitting at the desk here in the cave at the moment. I am writing a post about the primary/secondary emotions thing (on WordPad - yay!). Mostly because, like you posting your manipulation post yesterday, it feels good to do it at the moment. I also hope it might give another example of the impact of being able to experience emotions in a safe and supported environment, but if it doesn't I am ok with that. Because also like you, I don't mind whether I am just talking to myself there either. I think it's cool to have somewhere to do that 🙂

I too am super duperly glad we can go on this adventure together but not. If I actually finish this post and then press "Post", that's why I have written it. 

I hope you have a good day. I am heading off to see and collect some fish today. Big smiles again 😄