Riding a wave

[CheerBear]

I don't know if it is enough @Phoenix_Rising and as much as it hurts me to say it big time, I respect that it maybe isn't enough. And I am taking a huge giant breath in posting that, like I imagine maybe you did when you said a similar thing once many mornings ago in the tiny hours. I respect that this is your life and this is your choice.

You have given meaning to my muddle that I did not expect to have, and I think you know what selfishly I am hoping your answer to that question is tonight. You are my best not-friend on the whole entire planet, and right now I wish more than ever I was there.

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member has come to watch over the ocean tonight @Phoenix_Rising but right now I suspect she is dealing with someone else's muddle. I know patience isn't your strong point (an understatement hey) but I am here still watching you ride the waves and I am sure she will return when she is able to little turtle.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I so very very VERY badly need to talk this through. I just need to talk it out. I'm so confused, why is this bad? I really really really need to talk it out.

[Zoe7]

I superly wish you were there with little turtle too @CheerBear 

I also respect whatever decision you  make - just as you have done for me - but I also selfishly would really miss having you around if you were no longer here (but that is about me and not you).

[Phoenix_Rising]

I'm scared @CheerBear. I know what I need in order to stay alive tonight. I need to talk this out. That's all I need. I really really really really really need to talk it out.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I'm trying so hard. I am using all the tools in my toolkit (including the one that society would deem pathological). I am trying so so so hard, but it feels like I'm wading through quicksand.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I'm so scared. I don't understand why the rules keep changing. @Former-Member I think I need to utilize the subclause.

[Zoe7]

The best thing to do in quicksand is to not move @Phoenix_Rising the more you move, the deeper you go - so for now - try not to move - sit with your big feelings and we will move through the quicksand to get to YOU!

[CheerBear]

I am here listening if you want to talk it out here, but I know you probably can't and that maybe here is not the right place for you to do that too @Phoenix_Rising and that seems like serious stuckness to me. We've done stuck before. We can do stuck some more if you choose.

[Phoenix_Rising]

That's the problem @CheerBear, I can't talk it out here. This is the stuckness. Talking it out would help so much. I just need to talk it out.