Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Friends]

Hi everyone,

I'm reaching out for some advice on a situation I'm facing for the first time. My friend, who has bipolar disorder, was hospitalized last week. Initially, he called me from the hospital and wanted me to visit. However, when I went, I felt like he was pushing me away and not really happy to see me. I'm unsure if I should continue visiting him. I don't want to make his symptoms worse, but I also care about him.

During my visit, he asked me to do a few things for him, like contacting other friends to visit. I did that with no problem. However, he then requested I send a strange email to the police. He mentioned being offered a job with them soon, which I doubt is true. He states it is for his future career. I'm hesitant to send the email. If I don't, I'm worried he'll bring it up again during my next visit. I'm not sure if I should just ignore the request and stop visiting until he's discharged.

Any advice or suggestions on how to navigate this situation would be greatly appreciated.

[tyme]

Hey @Friends ,

Thank you for sharing. It sure sounds like a bit of a confusing situation to be in. 

Does he have access to his phone in hospital? If so, perhaps you can text him supportive messages instead of going in to see him?

In terms of the email, if he has access to his phone, then he can send the email himself? I'm not sure of the content of the email, but if it's for a job, he will probably have to send it himself anyway? I'm not entirely sure.

Bipolar can be a tricky one as manic episodes can blur reality. 

Is he in the acute ward or the regular inpatient ward? The acute ward don't generally allow phones, but the regular ward may.

Please take care of yourself in the mean time.

We are here if you need a chat.

[Friends]

Hi @tyme , 

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. 

He is currently in the acute ward and doesn't have access to his personal phone. He reached out to me using the hospital phone, which can only make calls. Unfortunately, this meant I couldn't send him any supportive message, which confused me more about what I should do now. 

The content of the email he wants me to send seem unusual, and I am unsure if its career-related or not. More importantly, I am concerned there might be a deadline for him to reply the email, and I don't want to jeopardize any potential job opportunity for him.

Any suggestions on how to navigate this situation would be greatly appreciated.

[tyme]

It's a tough one. At the same time, if he is in the acute ward, if it is job related, he can speak to his psychiatrist and ask for you to come in so he can send the email with you - if it exists @Friends 

As you mentioned, we are not sure if this is reality. Only the hospital can tell you.

Do you know the timeframe he is in acute care for? When he is more stable, he may move into the regular ward and have phone access.

Is this something you can ask him or the hospital?

[Friends]

I think that is a great idea, @tyme . I might need to confirm with him if it is career-related. Perhaps, if the hospital allows it, I can send the email together with him. 

He has been in acute care since last Wednesday and was moved to the regular ward on Monday and Tuesday. However, he was moved again to the acute ward yesterday. Perhaps he did something during that two-day time frame about the email on the job, but he didn't have phone access again after that. Do you have any idea about regularly how long will it take for a bipolar person to be stable?

I tried to ask him, but sometimes, the information he provided might not be that clear due to his current circumstances and might be wrong too. I tried to ask the nurse too but they couldn't provide me with too much information as they told me it was something private. 

[tyme]

Hey @Friends ,

Did you get to speak to him today? How have things been? Any improvement?

Hope you are okay. We are here for you.