@greenpeanot good with the feelings of self harm. A rubberband around your wrist is a good idea. I always have an elastic around mine too.
Do what you need to do to make sure you are safe. Will be around later if you need us.
Big hugs sweetie 
So so sorry that your mother behaves like that toward you and your child. She comes from a different time and has not bothered to learn about a different way of seeing and understanding things. That doesn't make it right, nor will it make it any easier to bear, because you did choose to see things differently and be accepting of other view points.
I think it's mostly fear that keeps people ensconced in their old ways of thinking, even when challenged to be better. Fear that much of their own lives might have been wasted/ lost/ less well handled than they thought, if they decide to believe in any 'new fangled' ideas as having any truth or acceptibility to them.
My own mother had/ has (I have no idea if she is living still) her own ingrained ideas of how everyone should be and publicly and privately shamed me every chance she could. She probably still does, but I don't know about it anymore.
You survived it Pea. You're stronger than you feel.
You look after you, sweet 'Pea. Let's all go have a blanket picnic together!
@greenpeawell done on getting through it. I hope some of the urges are gone....
What you have planned sounds like good self care.
Look after yourself hun, you are special to us
