TW: Trauma and relationships

[creative_writer]

@RiverSeal I’ve never really felt like I belonged anywhere, like there was a barrier between me and other people. I probably do disassociate at times and have since I was a child. I shut down

[RiverSeal]

Hey @creative_writer, I understand feeling like there is a barrier between you and other people. I have really struggled mixing with other people throughout my life and I have been really isolated a lot of the time. The Forums are a great place to connect with others and you are a valued part of the community. It's a safe space to be vulnerable with your peers who may have similar experiences. It's heartwarming to see you connecting with the community here! RiverSeal ❤️

[creative_writer]

@RiverSeal shutting down is how I coped for such a long time, it becomes automatic. The other day I was in a client session with my supervision, and I got a strong urge to cry, I fought those tears and sort of shut down. I never really told my supervisor that I may have felt a bit triggered. I just told her I was exhausted from a previous phone call with a client which was very long. The exhaustion from the phone call was part of it but not all of it

[RiverSeal]

It's ok to get triggered by clients @creative_writer we just need to be aware of ourselves and how to regulate afterwards. It's fine not to tell your supervisor if you don't feel comfortable and it's good that you said you were exhausted from your previous call, so they knew you were not at your best. Could be a good think to reflect on if you do that in your practice? Like the Gibbs Reflective Cycle so similar if you are familiar with that. RiverSeal 

[creative_writer]

@RiverSeal yes I’m familiar with the Gibbs Cycle. I just feel guilty for getting triggered, I’m in the learning process of self regulating myself. I do feel like I have to try harder having my own history of MI and from being sensitive to overstimulation. It probably doesn’t help that I keep a lot to myself, but it’s hard talking to others about it

[RiverSeal]

I think we can all get triggered at times and it's part of working with people when we have our own MI. Do you think this a new thing, or have you had this experience before @creative_writer? We are only human, and we are not always at our best even at work sometimes. 

I think talking about what we go through takes time to get comfortable with and everyone is different. You are good at sharing your thoughts and feelings on the Forums as just wondering if it feels different for you to do that in this space?

Do you think the Gibbs Reflective Cycle would help you in this instance? I did one recently about something that I did at work, and it helped me process the emotions I was holding on to about it.

RiverSeal 

[creative_writer]

@RiverSeal I’ve been feeling rather vulnerable lately. I’ve been feeling burnt out and have had emotions building up. I’ve been around people more since starting placement and that means masking more.

It does feel different to share my thoughts and feeling on here than it does in my life.

I could try doing a Gibbs Cycle, it might help clear things in my mind and process it all

[RiverSeal]

I have been feeling vulnerable lately too @creative_writer so you are not alone there. I think when we have a MI life is just a bit more challenging and I know I go through cycles of ups and downs regularly. It's tough having to mask and show up for work sometimes and it's a learning process on how to do that. You are really brave and resilient, and I believe you have it within you to get through your placement. It's a time for learning and you are not expected to be the best while you are on placement.

It might help clear your mind about it if you did a Gibbs cycle. Do you have one from Google?

RiverSeal 

[creative_writer]

@RiverSeal the problem is I have the mask on at home too around family. I never really get the chance to take it off unless I’m alone. I honestly don’t know what I need to change and what I can do to make it easier.

We learnt about the Gibbs Cycle in my course.

[RiverSeal]

It must be tough having to mask and home and around family too @creative_writer. I don't know what the answer to your situation is and you are on your own journey with MI. As a community we can support each other with our shared experiences and learning together and I believe you have it within you to get through this.

My music therapist suggested I journal and reflect on my life to cope with my low mood and falling back into negative thoughts. So, I've been doing that and working on myself recently and we discussed today that MH requires constant work just like exercise. It's not just a onetime thing and we are set. 

Sometimes we just have to keep going even though it's not ideal. Talking about it here on the Forums is a safe space for you and sharing your vulnerability is not judged in anyway. This is a space where you can take you mask of and be yourself with your peers.

RiverSeal