@outlander 

Sorry I disappeared last night. I went to bed.  I am pretty flat and sad atm   It just is.  

There was nothing to apologise for. I did not think you were snappy. You just stated your preference for a clean house and I know you work for it, so it is more than a preference. We all need our work to matter and cleaning gets so repetitive it seems like it is never done.  Seeing it, is a way of reminding us of its value.  It is an area where woman are still taken for granted. 

It is no good that pop is rude and demanding.  Are you able to tell him how upsetting it is for you, when he seems better? 

Being busy can certainly help and at least we accomplish things.  It has been one of my main responses to life.  Though feeling flat lately, as I am worried about my son and nothing I do seems to help, so it is time to back off.  Though he did say to me, he knows I care.