@utopia I was just replying to @Faith-and-Hope and didn't see your post - sorry.

That's exactly what I'm looking for. From your point of view there doesn't seem to be a gradual slide it is just an instant crash. That is exactly what I want to work out. If there was a series of events or words or things that I write that you could see was changing then it may be easier to identify when I was struggling. But if it seems that I go from ok to not ok that quickly then that is something I need to work out why?

I really don't think it is anything you do at all - or write. I think it is more that ANYTHING that can be even remotely triggering is when I am really so physically and mentally exhausted. 

Not sure! I'm in a pretty good place at the moment so can try and work out some of this if that is ok with you?!