Good evening all. I am feeling MUCH better this evening after seeing NP today. We still haven't actually solved the problem of what I can do in a crisis (so I think you guys are stuck with me ) but we are going to have a few 90 minute sessions so that we can really make some headway on my muddle. Also NP is going to make me some voice recordings. She said she should be able to do the first one this week, which will focus on the idea that she is still "there" between sessions and that she isn't going to dump me even though things are so stormy right now.

I engaged in a fairly extreme behaviour during the week (I'm pretty sure the moderators wouldn't approve of me describing it here!), which I know I did because I felt so unheard when I used my words to tell NP how much I was struggling at the end of last week's session. I super liked how non-reactive she was to that behaviour today. Her non-reactivity made me feel safe. Of course, she may have really been freaked out by it and is debriefing with her supervisor right now...but she BEHAVED as though it was no big deal while at the same time validating the bigness of it. So yeah, I feel much more connected and safe now. We talked about how important it was to finish the session in a way that helped me to feel ok. Today we did that by watching a youtube clip from Finding Nemo. Finding Nemo is my favourite movie. Who can feel bad when watching Finding Nemo!!!!

I have to confess, I am amazingly bad at remembering what is in all your posts so that I can then reply One thing I wanted to say though was that @utopia I think you mentioned that you were worried that if you cry, the tears will never stop. They will stop - I can 100% guarantee it. They will start again minutes, hours or days later, but they WILL stop. Worrying that they won't adds another layer of emotion to the already super big sad feelings. It's ok to cry. It is safe and healthy.

@Zoe7 I also remember that you tried to go to the movies today but it was sold out. That sucks! I hope you are able to go on Friday.

Um...yep, that's all I remember from all the posts I just read. I seriously need a brain transplant