Same - same - and same!!!! @Former-Member

Those questions are the hardest things to deal with I think - why me and there are no answers!

I know why me when I was an adult - and I certainly do blame myself for not having the courage to leave and to be safe - but as a child - that part I will never understand why I was 'chosen'. 

I do find it more difficult to deal with the abusive relationship because I did have a choice - but we both know that that choice is not easy when you are right in the middle of the 'chaos'. You are too scared to stay and too scared to go - and when you know your life is threatened either way there really is no choice at all.