I've been holding on since I got home today but I am starting to fall. I know it is just me 'feeling sorry for myself' and getting angry that I am constantly being 'beaten' by my past but it still doesn't make me feel any better. It does become self-fulfilling when I feel like this - I get frustrated that I am here again and that it it so hard to get out of this - but the more I 'stress' about it the worse I seem to get. I will get through it - but along the way I will feel the pain - ride it out - want out! These are the times when living sucks and life feels like nothing but darkness. If only I could flick a switch and erase my past then maybe I could think of a future.