I remember your background @Former-Member - we chatted about it when you first joined here 
My 'backstory' is pretty similar - except the catalyst wasn't an incident at work but my illness. Similar to you though - all those things I had been suppressing (or keeping locked away) came to the fore in a hurry when I couldn't do anything physically to occupy my mind any other way.
I too am in 2 minds - being there today - even though there was only 2 other people there (and one was my mum) really made me question if I would ever get back to work and also if I wanted to go back. I really am stuck! I know I am not well enough (an understatement!!!!) but is the questioning beacuse I am still so unwell or can I really cope in the system we have now longer term anyway (if I do manage to get back).
I just don't know 