Evening all
Had an okay-ish day at work
Have flogged the horse as much as I can for the roster situation. That's been the hardest part. It's meant to be shared more.

Couple of colleagues seem to be suffering from boredom and childishness.
Got sassy comments from a colleague about my work efforts.

Really starting to learn to have more self respect and compassion for myself. Particularly in this context of work. This job has been testing me a lot and I think its fair to say that I've actually learned more about myself through it all. Some of those lessons can't be articulated. I think its just experience and it translates across to a raw feeling.

My anxious mind has bordered on the paranoia. Where I have gone so far as to establish intent and action behind small tiny things I see. I'm just applying my analytical mind to it too much really.

To rise above the mediocre crap that I see as nothing other than a hindrance is actually really easy. I know what I need to do in this role and I just gotta do it.
I need to put away the idea that "probation period is everything". It's not.
Even I left or got kicked out - I accept it. But it doesn't colour my abilities or attitude.

Also I can't keep reflecting on experiences. Treat them as the water under the bridge that they are.

One thing this new role has taught me us how empathic I am. And hey perhaps that is a sign I need to switch to something else. But that's a lesson learned in time. And I have time.

I'm on the way to chat with sister. She needs my help and I need hers. We are siblings and we help each other. Both of us have come close to death in our own ways. Life is too fragile to be wasted on things I can control. I must be authentic.

See how the floodgates open and in comes gushing so many good things. Gratefulness is a powerful antidote for temporary suffering triggered by minimal experiences in highly specific areas.

@TAB @Former-Member
@Appleblossom @Shaz51 @StuF and others