Thanks @Oaktree 

Perhaps we need mediation  - alas - I can't see her thinking this could help

We do share a past of course  - her brother's death and her father and I are divorced  - we both have chronic pain too - alas - that's a lot and I have had counselling for all of this  - to my knowledge she hasn't 

We need to acknowledge our issues to deal with them - I take any I can get 

I am having my moments - I will be okay thought 

Thanks 

Mumma Bear

Owlunar