Thanks @tyme 

I am okay now  - I think better than I have been in my whole life  - I still have chronic pain - I cope with it feeling some other disabilities are worse and glad I've got this one - I see other people at the pain clinic  - oh wow - my left shoulder is disabled with osteoarthritis but I am walking well still 

I have shared some things  - I relate to people with pain and grief  - my GP is retiring and my new doctor wrote my diagnosis on my mental health plan as PTSD which is more appropriate than anxiety and depression - I know I have PTSD and that's okay 

I didn't know if I could offer any one any thing but a bereaved mother I totally have everything for  - that's a gift

Thanks again 

Owlunar