Thanks @Oaktree 

Yes - anniversaries can be tough  - today was easier until I spoke with my cousin about my uncle's funeral which is next Monday  - now I feel unsettled again so I am taking a break 

I am pretty sure my feelings about the funeral have more to do with my sister than anything else  - I really have nothing at all to say to her - for my own well-being 

Life is not always about games of Happy Families    - so be it

There's a lot of history in the church where it will be held - I used to sing in the choir there and I was married there - wow 

Thanks again 

Owlunar