@Decadian I don't know what it is about you but you always seem to bring tears to my eyes - and in a good way. 

I am so sorry about your son. It is not necessarily the kids in the system that are failing - it is those that are supposed to be looking after them that are. If the programs and the system is not working then find a way to make it work. These kids NEED HELP and they need that help way before they get to the stage that they end up in the Juvenile Justice System. Our society fails these kids. There is so much money put into the aftermath and not enough put into prevention and finding a place for them to belong that is safe for them and the wider community. In saying that I know there are some that will always slip through any system that is put in place and are too violent to be in alternative programs but I believe we are very backward in dealing with the escalating violence and other issues in society. 

It is a bit like the education system. Money is put into 'fixing problems' in the short term then taken away and the 'problems' return. The 'powers that be' don't understand the impact kids behaviour and 'outside of school life' have upon theirs, and others, learning. If the resources were put into the right place - helping these disengaged and (for want of a better word) 'troubled' kids then everyone would be able to learn more effectively.

I've gone off topic again. Sorry!

I suppose I just get really frustrated when things like what happened to your son could be avoided if those that work within the system and work with these kids daily are not consulted or listened to.

And Dec, it does not matter how long ago or if you mostly are dealing with it, he was (and is) your son and you miss him and you always will. And things like what is happening at the moment with the violence etc. will have an effect - sometimes it will seem insignificant and other times it is forefront in your mind.

Be honest with your specialist if you are not coping with the pain- even if it is for a short time. Don't just 'live with it' if you can get some more relief. 

I'm really interested to know more about the old buildings you had a lot to do with tearing down!