Aw @utopia

It sounds terrible - I have never had to de-tox but it sounds like a nightmare - no wonder you feel so crappy

I missed one of my slow-release pain killers a while back - I had written it in my notebook but when I went to take my night dose the morning dose was still there - not good. All day long I felt like something from the living dead as well as having super-terrible back pain I felt like I was coming apart - if de-toxing is anything like that - and I imagine it's worse - I am glad I am a social drinker

Not at all virtuous - that's just the way I am - but I got a bit tiddly on holidays once - the cocktail I only had half of was much too strong - I think I had a good time in the lounge but then - maybe other people wondered about me - when I went outside to go to my cabin I fell backwards in the snow looking at the stars - ah - embarrassing - no one saw -

But I get it - I do understand Utopia

So I guess you have to take the tablets prn if you can because you know how you feel - but as my son was an alcoholic I have read a bit about the subject and yeah - enough said - all but for the grace of God etc

It's a good idea to write your journal - oh gee - waking up to see your psychiatrist sitting at the end of your bed - mmmmm - sounds really cool - that never happened to me

I read what you wrote about the public/private system and work cover on another thread - forget where - but I am glad you are in a private hospital - the public system might help some I would imagine - terribly under-funded though - hang on - I am rephrasing that [rephrased]

You are in my thoughts with the de-toxing Utopia - don't worry about quitting just yet - one thing at a time - I have quit - sometimes it takes more than one effort - I can really hold your hand with that one

Dec