Day 4 - part 1:
Woke up with my psychiatrist at the end of my bed. We had a chat. Tomorrow is meant to be my last day. As Workcover Insurance only gave me an initial 5 day pass. So my Psychiatrist is going to ask them for another 5 days.
That doesn't seem enough to me. So I told him I wanted more. He said he has to have a good reason to give Workcover to get them to fund a longer stay.
I went to my room and cried. Later I spoke to the nurse that did my admission paperwork on Friday. I said, I can't go home in 5 days. I need longer. I don't want to go home and be a parent anymore. I don't want to have to look after my dogs or my house or my car. I don't want to have to find a job and struggle to live on Centrelink pension. I don't want to have to look after me.
Im aware I'm sounding like a spoilt brat. But I'm so tired of doing everything for myself. I'm tired of this life I live.
I told the nurse if they send me home - then I'll just self medicate more - until there is nothing left of me to medicate.
I'm in a self destructive - why me - poor me - mood.
But I want to keep this thread honest with how I'm feeling. Even if I look like an ungrateful ... (swear word).
No responses needed.