Thanks everyone. @Owlunar - I'm determined to be totally honest with this thread. All the negative thoughts. The hardest thing for me to admit to, is that I don't want to be a mum anymore. I feel that is a statement that is more likely to cause judgements - than saying I have a plan.
This post is my journal entry for this stay.
Hopefully there will be positives along the way. Growth and strenth and a lessening in my depression.
I hope it serves as an accurate record of what this journey is like for me. Warts and all.