Hi @utopia,

I hope this message finds you safely on your way to hospital with your Mum beside you. Thank goodness you were able to be your own advocate and get those letters from your psychiatrist and psychologist. I know how hard it can be to persevere when you are feeling so low. It is really hard to do that... so I think you are amazing. 

Your story highlights the problems with Workcover and the court system. Things take so long to happen and all that time you are unable to begin to heal properly because you are stuck in limbo with the same trauma replaying over again.

I had a taste of this when I took a recent ex-boss to the Fair Work Commission because he fired me for asking to be paid correctly. When I realized how long the case would take to get to court, I gave up on it, because I wanted to begin healing from the incident immediately. I did not want to wait for some date in the distant future for it finally to be over.... it was so stressful.

My husband and I decided to go and spend 5 weeks in Europe together for a change of scenery. I just dropped the case without letting my ex-boss know anything.... I let him believe that I might still go ahead with it. But I left the country! 

Something similar happened when I left my ex-partner all those years back. I just packed up one day and left while he was at work, because I did not want the trauma of telling him I was leaving and then having a big discussion/argument about it- when I knew he would come out with dozens of lies in order to convince me to stay. I just needed to avoid that situation all together, for my own mental health. 

I remember him texting me and asking to meet me for a proper 'goodbye' and explainations, but I just deleted his text. I began healing for good when I deleted that text.... because I was letting go.

@utopia, I'm not suggesting that you can move on from your situation easily or recover from depression quickly. It takes time and a lot of hard work. It did with me, anyway. While you have committed to the course of action to take this case to court- and I think that it's a good thing to do- to seek justice- you might have to begin to let go of it as well, if you can. I know it is really hard. 

Those people at your previous job were terrible and heartless. That's the way they are. If you get justice in court, they will remain terrible and heartless, anyway. You would think they would learn from their lesson; but no. They will continue to be themselves, regardless of anything.

That's how I thought of my ex-boss and my ex-partner. It's not that I wanted to label them or dehumanize them, either. I just wanted nothing to do with them, ever again. And I got my wish. They are history. 

@utopia, you are so caring and so good. You are very, very strong, too. I think you are stronger than me. You will get through this.... I just know that you will.