Had to do the bloody nurse talk. She tried to catcch me this morning after my talk with my psychiatrist. Hell no. But they have to have a chat with you every shift - or morning and afternoon shift. To write their notes on how you are doing.
So I finally calmed down after my psychs ETC suggestion.
And then they talk or ask you stupid questions about how you're feeling and what's happened today.
I swear they just want you to hash it all up again so they can make you cry. Most of the time it's bloody awful. Because you've only just managed to settle yourself down - only to dredge up your shite again. Over and over and over again.
So I go and lie down on top of the table in the non smoking courtyard. And I watch the clouds moving by. It's calming. I'm feeling a little more in control and no need for a calmer med.
I go out to the smokers courtyard - and there is a man spraying what the hospital calls a 'garden'. I say what are yiu spraying. Weed Spray.
Si I cry. It's a big chemical no no for me and my allergies (yes I know it's not logical to be a smoker). My sensitivities have already been set off early this morning - with my new room mate using hairspray. I'm impossible to live with.
But I want a smoke and its the only place ti have one is in the one smokers courtyard.
So then I cried because I want a smoke. Si I had to ask for a 10 minute leave pass so I can go and smoke in the car Park - outside of the hospital. I hate leavung the hospital.
So I've got this weed spray up my nose causing an instant headache and then I stand in the car park being hit by car fumes driving I n or out..
Big whinge over nothing. . But today sucks.
Just asked a nurse if she could wake me at 10 minutes to 3 - so I can go to an important group. But I need to sleep now to help my mood without being given more meds.
She said no. Your old enough to get yourself up. That's not my job. My mobile Alarm is broken. She didn't care. She is a witch with a B.
Shite day.