Woke up to a new day. Was looking forward to going to a certain 'group' today. I get there and they changed it from what was on the calendar. Already did that one.
Nurse tells me I need to pack - as I'm changing wards/units. They needed my double room and were putting me in a single room - in the over 65 ward!
So here I am in my 'new room' - in the oldies unit. And I don't have a proper bed. I have a hospital bed. You know the ones you can pull up the sides. They are all single beds here - but they are large King Singles. Which is good for my fat body. This one is tiny. If I roll over - I'll probably roll out of bed.
The bathroom hasn't been prepared for me. There is a shower chair and a toilet chair in there. I'll have to move them. But don't want to touch them.
My old room was north facing - warm sun as I sat by the window. This one is south facing - so feels colder. But the view is definitely nicer. Deciduous tree outside my window. May be able to see birds.
Was crying because I didn't want to be in this unit. Thought I'd get a leave pass - so I could go and have a smoke (smokers courtyard shut). But no. I'm not allowed leave now. I haveto see the ppsychiatrist and see if he will approve my leave again. Not happy.
Yesterday when I was in a bad way - depression - I said to my nurse - ban my leave today - because I don't feel safe to go outside (leave the building). Thought I was doing the right thing. Thought I was being responsible for my health by saying yesterday that I didn't feel safe. Thought I could be honest and let the staff know - when my mood and urge to drink clashed. It's come back to bite me on the bum.
30 minutes til smoko courtyard is open.