@soul - I have to stop grumbling. The room is nicer than my old one. Hot water and good water pressure. Doves asleep in the tree outside my window. Bed feels comfortable. Just narrow.
Spoke to my psychiatrist and he's reinstated my leave. I told him I'm honest with the nurses. But I need a back up when I'm feeling self destructive. So I want to be able to say. "I'm not feeling safe at this moment, can you cancel my leave". Not forever. Just til that moment passes.
Has been a better day than yesterday. Discussed my obsessive thoughts about my old friend & how they come up when I feel I need 'rescuing' or someone to look after me. So that's good that he knows that when I'm really low - my friend is often in my head (& that he's not imaginary. Lol.)